Flying Home
by Kristen Elizabeth
Summary: “I’m sorry. I’ve made my decision. I’m leaving the Titans.” Will the end of their teen years mean the end of their team? RobStar
1. Move on

Disclaimer: The Teen Titans do not belong to me, and I am not making any money off of this story, because if I were, my car might have working air conditioning and I could possibly afford a new TV.   
  
Author's Notes: My best friend, Loyce, has this annoying habit of getting me hooked on fabulous shows. A couple of weeks ago, it was Teen Titans. Not that I'm complaining, really. This story came to me as many of my stories come to me, in the shower. Odd, I guess, but whatever works. I hope you enjoy it and look for the next chapter soon.   
  
  
  
Flying Home  
  
by Kristen Elizabeth  
  
  
  
It's hard to let you go  
  
You've always let me in  
  
And helped with all the endings  
  
And you know where to begin  
  
I need you here for me  
  
Cause you always know my heart  
  
I can't believe we'd change   
  
Or have to be apart...  
  
-Chantal Kreviazuk  
  
  
  
Robin's alarm went off promptly at six a.m., but the Teen Titan had already been awake for hours. He let the beeps continue for a minute as he stared at the ceiling. Today was his birthday, his twentieth birthday, to be exact. This day had always seemed so far away, but now it was here.   
  
He sighed and threw off the covers. After turning off the alarm, he stretched and stood up. In the mirror on the other side room, his reflection stared back at him. He definitely looked twenty, he decided. He had shot up to just over six feet of lean muscles. His hair, still sleek and ink black, had grown a few inches and now rested just at the collar of his white T-shirt. All in all, he wasn't hard to look at, and he even had a well-meaning, but highly annoying fan club of preteen girls to prove it.   
  
Presents had already started arriving from said girls two days earlier, preventing him from putting off thinking about his birthday and what it meant. The gifts were mostly cards with adoring messages, a few stuffed animals, and even a box of chocolates that he'd left in the kitchen. It had been immediately devoured by Cyborg, he assumed. Beast Boy wouldn't ever eat anything made of milk, Raven didn't care enough about chocolate to sneak any, and Starfire would much rather munch on mustard. Robin shook his head. The presents were nice gestures, but they really meant nothing to him.  
  
If the girls who squealed his name when he and the other Titans were out on the streets really knew who he was…if they had any idea that he was just a regular kid who went through hell before being literally taken under Bruce Wayne's wing…they probably wouldn't want anything to do with him. He was a superhero by default, elevated to that status because he had a cool cape and a couple of nifty gadgets. He had no special powers. He couldn't change shapes or conjure up firebolts or levitate objects, and he definitely wasn't half-machine. He was just Dick Grayson.   
  
Pushing aside all these thoughts, Robin took a quick shower and began dressing. In nothing but a towel, he paused in front of his closet door. His old uniforms hung in a neat row in they very back, behind his street clothes. They were a timeline of his years with the Teen Titans. He'd grown so much, and although his uniforms had changed in size, they'd never altered in design. The same old green Lycra. The same yellow cape. The same black utility belt. "R" still stood for "Robin," and to the Titans, it always would.   
  
He donned his current uniform piece by piece, until he was missing just one thing. Robin reached for his mask and stared at it for a long moment. This was the only part of his ensemble that had never been replaced. It was what hid his true identity from everyone, even from his teammates. He couldn't even be Dick Grayson to them; he could only be Robin. He dutifully put on the mask and secured it into place. There was only one person in the entire world who had seen entire face. And he had his own hidden identity.   
  
It was time to go down to breakfast and face the inevitable celebration. Starfire had probably planned it all weeks ago; she never let a "day of birth" pass by, not even after Raven threatened to have her birth certificate legally altered to an unknown date. He smiled at the mere thought of the team's flame-haired alien beauty. If he was the leader of the Titans, Starfire was the heart and soul.   
  
But he couldn't let himself think about her too much or else he'd chicken out. Today was a momentous day for more than one reason, and if he stopped to think about the girl he'd grown to love as more than just a friend and teammate, he might never do what he knew he needed to do.  
  
Whether he wanted to do it or not.  
  
  
  
"Is everyone in their proper places?"  
  
A few years earlier, Raven might have winced at the shrill worry in Starfire's voice. Actually, a few years ago she might not have even been there to here it, as crouching behind the kitchen counter in order to surprise someone on their birthday was not exactly her cup of herbal tea. But after everything they'd been through together, participating in a birthday surprise that was really no surprise at all seemed tolerable. It made Starfire happy. And if Starfire was happy, that meant no Pudding of Sadness.   
  
"We're here," Raven told her. "We've been here for half an hour."  
  
"Where is the birthday boy?" Beast Boy wondered out loud. "He can't still be in the bathroom."  
  
"Maybe he fell in," Cyborg snickered.  
  
Starfire frowned. "What could Robin have fallen into?"  
  
Raven sighed. "Just when I think you've finally learnt everything, you surprise me, Star."  
  
"It does take him a couple of hours to get the spikes in his hair just right." Beast Boy sat back on his heels. "We could be waiting forever. Let's just eat and yell 'surprise' whenever he decides to come out."  
  
"That is not acceptable." Still kneeling, Starfire crossed her arms over her bare midriff. "It is the joyous day of Robin's birth and we shall celebrate it by surprising him with baked goods and commemorative gifts."   
  
Somehow Raven refrained from reminding her that everyone had stopped being surprised by her surprise parties years earlier. It wasn't easy, but no one liked seeing the sparkle in Starfire's green eyes fade away, not even her.   
  
"If Robin has fallen into something and cannot get out, should we not help him?" their alien friend continued, worry etched all over her face.   
  
Cyborg and Beast Boy looked at each other. Unable to hold back their amusement, they each fell to the floor, laughing outrageously.   
  
"Help!" Beast Boy joked, stretching his arms out in front of him. "I've fallen in and I can't get out!"  
  
Raven reached out and lightly smacked the back of his green head. "Quiet. I hear him coming."  
  
Instantly forgetting about her friends' mysterious bout of laughter, Starfire jumped to attention. "Get ready, everyone. And do not forget the day of birth chant!"  
  
Raven let out another sigh. Only Starfire could make the ageless "Happy Birthday" song sound so remarkable. Well, her friend might be able to get her behind the counter, but she could not, under any circumstances, make her sing.   
  
  
  
The common area of Titan Tower was empty and silent, a sure indication that Starfire's traditional birthday surprise was well underway. Robin walked down the hall slowly, to give her time to get everyone in their usual places. Truth be told, he liked that she put so much effort into these yearly celebrations. And he tried to do the same for her on the closest approximation of her own birthday, but somehow he always felt like he fell short. Not that Starfire would ever complain or even show disappointment. She probably never was disappointed, come to think of it. She never took anything for granted. Every gift was a miracle, every kind word was to be treasured. It was one of the things about her that he loved most of all.  
  
He would miss it terribly.   
  
Robin paused outside the kitchen door. "It has to be done," he whispered to himself. "You've known it all along." Sucking in a deep, empowering breath, he stepped into the dark room.  
  
The lights flipped on and his four teammates, his four best friends, leapt out from behind the counter. Well, two of them leapt out, at least. Cyborg was a bit too bulky to actually leap, and Raven was far too cool. They just sort of stood up. Beast Boy, however, jumped onto the counter as a cat and materialized in his human form.  
  
Starfire not only leapt to her feet, she threw confetti into the air and shouted out birthday greetings. Her sweet, sincere voice almost melted his resolve. Almost.  
  
"Happy Birthday, Robin!!!" the rest of them chimed in with Starfire.   
  
He couldn't have stopped himself from smiling even if he'd wanted to. "Thanks, guys. Wow…you went through all of this trouble for me?"   
  
"It was no trouble at all, dear friend!" Starfire exclaimed. She danced over to him and threw her arms around his neck in a tight embrace. "Today marks the anniversary of your twentieth year blessing this fair planet!"   
  
Robin wanted to wrap his own arms around her and never let go, but he merely gave her a light squeeze before pulling away. She smelled like fresh flowers in the rain and if he didn't let go then, he never would. "Well, I appreciate it," he told her.  
  
She beamed. "Come! We have made a delicious cake for you. And there are presents…oh!!" She slapped her forehead. "We have forgotten the day of birth chant!"  
  
"It's all right, Star," Robin said. The others breathed a huge sigh of relief.   
  
Beast Boy elbowed the team's leader in the ribs as they headed towards the table. "We owe you one, man."  
  
"No singing is the best kind of singing," Cyborg added. He held out his metal hand. "Happy birthday, Rob."   
  
He hesitated a second before slapping it. The handshake they'd invented as teenagers continued; the routine movements captivated Robin. How long had they been doing this? Would this be the last time they ever would?   
  
Starfire tugged at his arm as soon as the little ritual was complete and led him to his seat. "Do not worry, Robin. I did not bake the celebratory dessert myself; it was purchased from the supermarket."  
  
"And I made the bacon and eggs," Raven informed him as he was gently pushed into his chair. When he gave her a surprised look, she arched one eyebrow. "Beast Boy wanted to make you orange fried tofu and a soy smoothie. Consider this your present from me."   
  
The corners of his lips turned up in a sad smile. "Thanks. Really, this is…great."  
  
"Do you now wish to open your other presents?" Starfire asked.   
  
"I want to." Robin paused, collecting himself. "But first there's something I need to tell you. All of you."   
  
Beast Boy opened his carton of non-dairy milk and took a long swig. "What's up?" he asked, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.  
  
"Can't you at least use a napkin like a human being?" Raven asked, almost exasperated…for her, at least.  
  
"But I'm not a human being," Beast Boy countered. As he spoke, he morphed into a gorilla.   
  
"No animals at the table," Cyborg bellowed. "How many times do I have to tell you? I don't like finding green hairs in my breakfast!"  
  
"Protein, man," the green Titan replied, changing back to himself. He took another sip of his milk. "No harm done."  
  
"Until we all start coughing up hairballs." Raven poured herself her daily cup of tea.   
  
Temporarily distracted by her teammates, Starfire nodded in agreement. "The women at the bakery where I purchased Robin's cake wore nets over their hair. Perhaps you could do the same, Beast Boy."  
  
"It'd take more than a little hair net." Cyborg sized up his friend. "We'll need a full body cast of some kind to keep him from shedding all over this place."  
  
Beast Boy was instantly on the defense. "Are you all crazy? I don't shed any more hair than any of you do. Okay, not you, Cy…you don't even have hair! But you, Raven? Don't think I haven't plucked some purple clumps out of the bathroom drain. And Star, can we pause a sec to talk about how long yours is getting…"  
  
Robin sat back in his chair and watched the argument escalate. In the past, the endless bickering had frustrated him. As the undeclared, but undeniable leader of the Titans, he'd always felt responsible for maintaining some semblance of peace and team harmony. Not that he'd ever really succeeded. In fact, more often than not, he'd been right in the middle of one fight or another. But this particular one…he found himself cherishing it. They all had such strong personalities that they were bound to collide, and collide often. Beast Boy would always been the jokester, the instigator…Cyborg would never agree with him on anything…Raven's wry comments could always be counted on to add fuel to the fire…and Starfire, well, she would never take sides against anyone she considered a friend.  
  
With no end to the heated discussion in sight, Robin finally stood up. "Titans," he said in his "leader" voice. The fight died an instant death. "This is important."  
  
"What is it, Robin?" He felt Starfire's soft hand on his forearm, even through the Lycra. He couldn't look at her; if he saw her eyes, he'd be lost.   
  
"Today is more than just another birthday. It's my twentieth. I'm twenty now." Robin stopped.  
  
"Double congratulations?" Beast Boy offered.  
  
"Twenty," he finally went on. "As in…no longer a teenager."  
  
Raven set down her cup. "What are you trying to say?"  
  
He took a deep breath. "Cyborg, you turned twenty almost a year ago."  
  
"Yeah. So?"  
  
"Raven, your birthday was three months ago. Beast Boy, you'll turn twenty next month. And Star…" He still couldn't look at her. "Going by human years, you're probably twenty, too. But you had your Tamarian coming of age years ago when you transformed."  
  
"Get to the point," Raven ordered, her voice dark.   
  
"We're not teenagers anymore. Hence our name, Teen Titans, is sort of…obsolete."   
  
Beast Boy scratched the back of his head. "I'm confused. Do you just want to change our name? Cause if so, I've got a ton of ideas I could…"  
  
Cyborg cut him off. "He's not talking about a name-change, man."   
  
"Then what is he talking about?" Starfire asked, quietly.   
  
Raven crossed both her legs and her arms, a silent, but effective shield against unwanted emotion. "He wants to disband. Don't you, Robin?"  
  
Robin's chin dropped to his chest, guilt washing over him in a huge wave. "It was bound to happen, you guys. We couldn't stay teens forever."   
  
"Well, no, of course not. But that doesn't mean we couldn't adapt or something," Beast Boy said. "Right, guys?" He looked around the table. Cyborg's good eye was narrowed into a thin slit. Raven's face was a mask of cold composure. Starfire's lower lip trembled. "Right?" he asked again, weaker this time. He looked at Robin. "C'mon, man. You don't really want this."  
  
"It's not about want," Robin said, raising his chin. "It can't always be about what we want."  
  
"Why not?"   
  
"Because…that's not how it works."   
  
Starfire's green eyes watered with hot tears. "I do not understand. Robin…" She sought out his stare, forced him to look at her. "Why are you doing this?"  
  
He choked on the lump in his throat. "It's not to hurt you, I swear. I could never…" He ran a hand through his hair. "The Teen Titans were formed so that we could all work together and learn from each other as we each grew into our powers. Or talents. Well, we have now."  
  
"So that means we're done with each other, according to you?" Cyborg thundered. "Bull, man. I don't buy it. I don't buy it!" He stood up, knocking over his chair. "It's crap and you know it."  
  
"It's what needs to be done."   
  
Cyborg shook his head. "Maybe for you. But I'm not doing it. I can stay here all by myself if you all choose to go along with this, I don't care. But this team…it's the closest thing I'll ever have to a family. And I'm not just letting go of it because Mr. Mask here thinks he knows what's best for everyone else."   
  
"I'm not…"   
  
Beast Boy interrupted Robin. "I'm with Cyborg." He looked at their leader with disillusioned wonder. "We're not Menudo, man. There's no age limit to being a Titan. Raven, tell him."  
  
All eyes were suddenly on Raven. In the spotlight, she shrunk back into her chair. "People come and people go," she said. "They always go…they always leave. You can't stop them."   
  
Cyborg groaned. "Great."   
  
Beast Boy glared at Robin. "Look what you've done. Raven hasn't talked like this in years!"  
  
Behind his mask, Robin's eyes were wet. "I'm only doing what I have to."  
  
Throughout this exchange, Starfire had begun shaking her head back and forth. Now, as what should have been a happy birthday celebration turned into a painful breakup and breakdown, her head swung violently from side to side. She heard herself begin to scream. "No! No, I will not let this happen!"  
  
Robin was at her side in a second. "Star…stop. Calm down, and let me explain what I…"  
  
She threw off his hand. "Can you not see? We cannot let this happen! I have seen the future without us together. I thought I had stopped it from happening." Her tears broke free, sliding down her cheeks. "But I was not successful. This is the beginning of the end for us!"  
  
"I know it is," he whispered.   
  
"Then why, Robin? Why?"  
  
His vision blurry, Robin glanced at each of his teammates in turn. "I wish I could make you all understand…how different I am from you."  
  
"You're not," Beast Boy scoffed. "You're a Titan."  
  
"But I'm not a superhero. Not a real one anyways." He shrugged. "I have no special powers like you all do. I just have some expensive toys that aren't even mine. They're really just on loan from Batman."  
  
"There's a name I haven't heard in awhile," Cyborg said.   
  
Robin cleared his throat. "There has always been a silent agreement between us."  
  
"What sort of agreement?" Beast Boy asked.  
  
"That when I was older, I'd be his partner again."  
  
"Is that what you want?"   
  
Starfire's question cut straight to his heart. "He's my mentor," Robin replied a moment later. "He taught me everything. I owe him more than I can possibly say." He paused. "And now…he's getting older. He needs my help." Another second passed. "I can't let him down."   
  
"So, that's what this is all about." Cyborg snorted. "You're dumping us to play back-up to the Bat."   
  
Robin's temper tugged at him; he tried to take his teammate's hurt into account before it ignited. "You have every right to be upset with me, but not with him. Without his help, the Teen Titans wouldn't even exist."   
  
"They won't exist," Raven suddenly said. "If you leave."   
  
"I'm sorry. I've made my decision. I'm leaving the Titans."   
  
Silence cloaked the usually boisterous group. Just when it seemed like none of them might ever move again, Cyborg strode over to the pile of presents on the counter, picked up one inexpertly wrapped box and threw it onto the floor. Through the packaging, they all could hear something shatter.   
  
"Happy birthday," Cyborg growled. "Don't let the door hit you in the butt on your way out."   
  
  
  
To Be Continued 


	2. One boy, one girl

Disclaimer: Characters/entire series still doesn't belong to me.  
  
Author's Notes: Enjoy!! And thanks for the reviews so far!  
  
  
  
Flying Home  
  
by Kristen Elizabeth  
  
  
  
"Sick!!!!" Beast Boy stormed out of the kitchen, holding a dirty pot between the very tips of his fingers. "What died in this thing?!"   
  
The only one around to hear him was Cyborg. He was sprawled in front of the huge viewing screen, playing Warkannon V, and didn't respond until he had beaten a particularly tough opponent. "Star made that pudding of hers."   
  
"Oh." He threw the pot back into the kitchen, hoping it landed somewhere near the sink. "She didn't try to shove any of it down my throat."   
  
Cyborg's eyes never left his game. "I wouldn't eat it even if she'd asked."   
  
"Because it's the grossest thing in the entire world?" Beast Boy guessed, plopping down next to his friend.   
  
"Because I'm not sad." The older Titan threw down his controller as his character died a bloody death on the screen. "The last thing we need is a teammate who's not in the game. If Robin wants to go, I say we're better off without him."   
  
Beast Boy frowned. "I guess."   
  
"You playing?" Cyborg offered him the spare controller as he retrieved his own.   
  
"Nah." He stood up again. "Not in the mood."   
  
He started to go when Cyborg called out to him. "Don't tell me you'll be sad to see him go." When Beast Boy didn't answer, he shook his head. "Man…you'd think we were just the sidekicks or something. I've got news…we're not. We're the ones who have the powers. And we've been suckers following a follower all these years."   
  
"Robin's not a follower."   
  
"Keep telling yourself that." Cyborg started a new game. "But the minute he walks out that door to go back to being someone else's sidekick, he loses all my respect."   
  
Beast Boy stood still for a long time, watching the back of his friend's head. It was fitting that he was made out of so much metal. He could certainly act cold enough.   
  
  
  
Spoonful by disgusting spoonful, Starfire consumed an entire bowl of the Pudding of Sadness. Traditionally, eating the horrible mixture was supposed to make a person forget their sorrows, but it didn't seem to be working for her. Her tears had watered down the pudding and made it ten times harder to choke down. Perhaps it was time to let go of this particular Tamaranian custom.   
  
She set aside the empty bowl and wiped at her cheeks. The tears just wouldn't stop. She couldn't make them stop. Robin was leaving the Tower, leaving the Titans…leaving her. What was there left to smile about?   
  
"He has every right to go," Starfire told herself. "He has many commitments…and none of them are to me."   
  
But the words didn't make her heart hurt any less. Although there had never been anything official between them, she knew Robin cared for her. But did he know how much she returned the emotion? She had no idea. She'd never told him. And that was her greatest regret.   
  
"But he has never said anything either," she reasoned out loud. "Perhaps he does not care for me as more than a dear friend." Starfire sat up. "Perhaps I am not human enough."   
  
This was a terrifying thought, and one that sent her scrambling to the full-length mirror on her closet door. She examined herself critically. Her hair seemed human enough. Dark red, long and lush, it hung down to the small of her back. Her eyes were a bit too green to be completely human, but he'd never looked away from them in repulsion. Her waist was petite, her bosom was real and her legs were shaped properly.   
  
But her skin…that definitely wasn't human. Perhaps that was something Robin didn't care for. What if he liked girls with lovely white skin, or even lightly tanned, rather than her orange-tinted complexion?   
  
A tiny "eep" escaped her lips. She clapped her hands on either side of her face. That had to be it. Panic swelled beneath her breast. She needed help. Help of the female variety. And there was only one person on the team who fit that description.   
  
  
  
Meditation was her key to control and right then Raven needed that control. The strange little group she'd come to depend on so very much was about to fall apart. If she let herself scream and cry as some deeply buried part of her heart wanted to, it could be disastrous. She could single-handedly bring down the entire Tower, in a much more literal way than Robin would by leaving it.   
  
Her brow furred suddenly and she felt some of her control slipping even as she continued her three-word chant. Anger. Sorrow. Worry. She had to keep them suppressed. Her nails dug into her palms as she struggled with herself.   
  
"Azarath…metrion…zin…"   
  
A light rapping on her door that could only be made by Starfire's hand broke her concentration. Her levitation faltered and Raven dropped to the floor, landing on her backside.   
  
"That's going to leave a mark," she complained as she stood up. Pursing her lips, she walked to her door and cracked it open. "What?"   
  
Starfire stood in the hallway, her hands clasped at her heart, a pained expression on her face. Raven very nearly felt sorry for her. The alien girl looked the way Raven would have liked to feel. In a word, horrible.   
  
"Dear friend, I know that you value your privacy above all else, but if we could possibly engage in a few minutes of girlish talk." Starfire forced a smile. "It is very important."   
  
Raven sighed and against her better judgement, opened the door enough for Starfire to enter. "Come in." She closed the door as soon as her teammate cleared the threshold. "How girlish will this be?"   
  
"I am not certain." Starfire looked around. "It is so very dark in here. Could I perhaps turn on a…"  
  
"I like the dark."   
  
Starfire nodded. "Very well. It might be better. With the absence of light, you cannot see my hideous skin that so closely resembles orange soda pop."   
  
"Um…what?"   
  
"Please be truthful with me, as a friend who is also female. Am I ugly?"   
  
Raven stared at Starfire for a moment, searching her eyes for any signs that she might be joking. All she saw was earnest worry. It only took a second for her to catch on. "You're not ugly, okay? Is that all you wanted to know?"   
  
The other girl looked down at the floor. In the dark, it was hard to tell, but she was sure Starfire was about to burst into tears. "If I am not ugly, then why…" She stopped, unable to go on.   
  
"Look, I'm not the best person to give your ego a boost." Starfire sniffed loudly and Raven sighed again. "That came out wrong," she apologized.   
  
"It is all right."   
  
Raven sat down on the edge of her bed. "No one here is stupid, Star. You've always had a thing for Robin and he's always had a thing right back for you."   
  
"Is this the truth?" Starfire looked up, hopefully.   
  
"Do I ever speak anything else?"   
  
The light in her friend's eyes died. "He must not have enough of a thing for me if he still chooses to leave us."   
  
"Men suck," Raven explained as succinctly as possible. "And most of them smell bad."   
  
"Robin does not smell bad."   
  
"Obviously you've never caught a whiff of him coming out of the gym."   
  
Starfire lifted her shoulders. "He always smells like Robin. I will miss his scent so much…" She bit her lip. "I do not want him to go, Raven."   
  
"So…don't let him."   
  
"How would I keep him from doing so?" She thought for a moment. "I suppose I could tie him down."   
  
Raven shook her head to clear away a sudden, unwanted image. "Keep the kinky stuff to yourself." When Starfire frowned, she continued. "I'm not saying you have to hold him hostage. There are other things you could do to…convince him to stay."   
  
"I do not understand."   
  
Inside her head, Raven could hear herself groaning. She was going to have to have "the talk" with her teammate. Could her day possibly get any worse?   
  
"All right, sit down," she instructed the Tamaranian girl. "Here's your final lesson on Earth behavior."   
  
  
  
Robin stared at the open and half-filled suitcase lying on his bed. In the three days since his birthday, he'd discovered something. Packing was turning out to be far more difficult than he had anticipated. Every drawer he reached into held a slew of memories. He was being assaulted by the past, the good and the bad. Old newspaper clippings, yellowed pictures of the Teen Titans and smudged articles outlining their deeds. Birthday cards with glittered words. Movie ticket stubs. Broken game cartridges. Things he should have cleared out years ago.   
  
Tucked away in one drawer, he'd found a single picture of Starfire. It had been taken shortly after her arrival on Earth, in her first few days on the team. How old were they then? Fourteen? He couldn't remember. It seemed as though he'd known her his entire life. Certainly, she'd touched him in a way no other girl ever had. Yet he'd never made the first move, afraid to push his feelings onto her. He could never share his whole self with anyone else, and it wasn't fair to ask for her heart when his would always be so guarded. It was another decision he'd come to a long time ago, and like his resolve to leave the Titans, he would stick to it.   
  
Still, he'd set the picture in a special place on his desk. It was not to be thrown away.   
  
He really didn't need to take much of anything to Wayne Manor. Everything would be provided for him; it always had been. Bruce had been a father figure when he'd needed a family the most, as well as being his legal guardian up until his eighteenth birthday. And he'd fulfilled that responsibility above and beyond the call of duty. He'd taken an orphaned circus performer and turned him into a strong, smart fighter and leader. Robin owed him.   
  
"I owe him," he repeated, as if to convince himself further.   
  
Shaking his head, Robin picked up a stack of carefully folded clothes and set it into the suitcase. Just as he was reaching for another, there was a knock on his door. Too preoccupied to answer it, he called out, "Come in."   
  
He could smell her sweet perfume before he even looked to see who it was. Swallowing, Robin turned around. Starfire stood with her back pressed to the inside of the door; her chest rose and fell with shallow breaths.   
  
Her usual purple uniform had been replaced by a satiny white slip of a dress that barely skimmed the middle of her thighs. Her hair was piled up on her head and secured with two chopsticks. Soft tendrils curled around her slender neck.   
  
His mouth so dry he could barely squeak out her name. "Star?"   
  
"Robin." Her voice was lower than usual, but still so innocent. Although right then, she looked anything but. He'd had a dream like this before, he recalled. A very good dream. "Am I bothering you?" she asked.   
  
"Er…not exactly." Suddenly, his uniform was way too constricting. "What's going on?"   
  
"You are packing your belongings in preparation to leave."   
  
"Yeah…just a few things. I'm not actually going until the end of the…" His words trailed off as he watched her hook her fingers around the delicate straps of her dress and lower them from her shoulders. The flimsy white material slid down her curves and pooled around her bare feet, leaving her completely nude in front of him. "…week." Robin's stomach dropped a few inches. "Star…"   
  
Unashamed, she looked him straight on. "I do not want you to leave."   
  
She was glorious, as though she'd been hand-sculpted by a great artist. Gone was the awkward teen girl he'd loved in adolescence. Here stood a woman, offering herself to him. But was it for the right reasons?  
  
"God, Star," Robin managed to say. "Do you know…I mean…do you understand what you're…what this is?"   
  
Part of him hoped she might not. If she didn't, he could restrain himself, unwilling as he was to take advantage of her naivety. He could gently send her on her way and take an icy shower.   
  
But to his dismay…or delight, depending on which part of his body was consulted…she nodded. "Raven has explained everything to me. According to her, the intimate act of intercourse is an effective way of bonding two human beings together emotionally and physically. And while I do not know if such an act between a human male and a Tamaranian female could result in reproduction, I am willing to try it. With you, Robin." She reached behind her head and pulled out the chopsticks, letting her hair swing down around her breasts. "Will you make some love with me?"   
  
  
  
To Be Continued 


	3. If you could only see

Disclaimer: Characters herewithin do not belong to lil ole me.   
  
Author's Notes: Thank you everyone for the kind feedback so far. I love to hear from fellow StarRob shippers! I hope you keep reading and enjoying!  
  
  
  
Flying Home  
  
by Kristen Elizabeth  
  
  
  
I wish I could follow through   
  
I know that your love is true   
  
And deep   
  
As the sea   
  
But right now   
  
Everything you want is wrong,   
  
And right now   
  
All your dreams are waking up,   
  
And right now   
  
I wish I could follow you   
  
To the shores   
  
Of freedom,   
  
Where no one lives.   
  
-"Honey and the Moon," Joseph Arthur  
  
  
  
Raven was one dead woman, Robin silently vowed. What had she been thinking, putting these sorts of ideas into Starfire's head? Not that they were necessarily all that bad, just completely out of character for his Star.   
  
But isn't this what you've always wanted, a little voice in the back of his head asked.   
  
"No," he said out loud, answering his own question.  
  
"No?" Starfire slowly lifted her arms and crossed them over her breasts. "You will not?"  
  
"No, I didn't mean…" Robin plunged his fingers into his hair, upsetting the carefully crafted spikes. "What I meant was that I…we…can't. Not like this."  
  
Starfire shook her head. "Do you wish to do the intercourse with our clothes on?"   
  
"Oh, I gotta sit down." Robin sank into his desk chair and stared at the floor. When his rising libido was back in check, he looked up, settling his gaze directly on her eyes and nowhere else. "Star…you're beautiful. And I…care about you. But this isn't a good idea."  
  
"Why not? We are over the proper age, and we are friends."  
  
Robin closed his eyes for a brief moment. "Star, this isn't how things like this progress. Yeah, we've known each other for a long time, but this stuff's gotta build up. Can you understand?"  
  
Starfire turned her head as though suddenly embarrassed. "You do not desire me."  
  
"Listen to what I'm saying. When two people do this…it's because they've taken their time and thought it out."  
  
"Raven did not mention any of this."   
  
He exhaled sharply. "Well, Raven wouldn't be my first choice of counselors if I needed sex advice."   
  
"You do not need sex advice then…because you do not desire me."  
  
"You're not listening, Star!"  
  
"And you are not denying it!" She lowered her arms and walked towards him. "I do not want you to leave, Robin, because I care for you more than I have ever cared for anyone. There is no one besides you who I could ever imagine doing such things with."   
  
Robin stood up. She was too close. He could reach out and touch her soft skin if he wanted to. And he really wanted to. But he had to be the strong one. It was his lot in life to play the good guy. Even if it meant hurting someone so dear to his heart.   
  
"If we did this, if we made love, had intercourse, whatever you want to call it…I'd still leave, Star."  
  
"But…we would be bonded. Would we not?"   
  
"We'll always be bonded. We're friends."  
  
"That is all?"  
  
He turned away from her again. "That's all I have to give."   
  
Minutes ticked by like hours. When Robin finally glanced back over his shoulder, Starfire had slipped her dress back on; she hovered at the door, a few inches off the ground, shivering slightly.   
  
It broke his heart.  
  
"Star…please try to understand…"  
  
"It is all right, dear friend." Starfire put on a brave smile. "I am sorry if I have created awkwardness between us. I did not mean to. I hope you will not think badly of me in the future."   
  
"I couldn't ever," he whispered.   
  
"Will you think of me at all when you are gone, Robin?" A moment passed. "I will always think of you."   
  
When he heard the door close behind her, Robin cursed under his breath. "It can't always be about what you want," he told himself. "It just can't."  
  
  
  
Starfire reached her room and threw open her window as she desperately fought back her sorrow. By the time she was in the air shooting up as high into the clouds as possible, the tears caught up with her. The wind rushing past her cheeks dried them almost instantly, but fresh ones appeared just as quickly.   
  
She flew until the sun began to set in the far off west.   
  
The tears never stopped.  
  
  
  
Restless and hating it, Raven made her way to the roof, her second favorite place to meditate. Once there, she walked to the very edge and gazed down at the dark water that lapped the rock edges of the island. Taking a deep breath of near contentment, she crossed her legs and levitated up. She settled into the proper position and closed her eyes.  
  
"Azarath…metrion…zin…"  
  
A tiny hiccup interrupted her before she even got started. She cracked one eye open and searched the darkness for the source of it. The muffled sobs seemed to be coming from a huddled mass of white material…and red hair on the far side of the flat concrete plain.   
  
"Oh no."   
  
Raven landed softly and approached the sobbing alien girl carefully. "Starfire?"  
  
She lifted her head, but her hair hung in disarray and covered most of her face. What Raven could see of it was splotchy from hours of crying. "Robin will depart at the end of the week," Starfire said between hiccups.   
  
Anger ticked in the back of Raven's mind. She effectively squashed it, but not before she let out a terse, "What an idiot." Looking back down at her friend, she sighed. "Let's go inside. It's getting cold out here. You could get sick."  
  
"I do not care if I contract the dreaded sniffles."  
  
"You will when your nose starts running like a faucet."  
  
Starfire sat up. "What else could I have done, my friend?"  
  
"Probably nothing," Raven replied honestly. "But listen…we're still here. Me and Cyborg and even Beast Boy. You won't be alone. The Titans aren't going anywhere."   
  
"That should give me great comfort," Starfire said. "But it does not."  
  
"It might not for awhile. But it's something."   
  
A star shot across the black sky. "At home, we make wishes upon such dying stars," the Tamaranian informed her.   
  
Raven's lips twitched into something resembling a smile. "We do that here, too."   
  
"Shall we make a wish together, dear friend?"   
  
The smile fell. "I don't depend on wishes." Raven paused. "Make one for me, please."   
  
Starfire closed her eyes for a long time. When she opened them again, Raven held out her hand to her. "Come on. I'll make us some tea."   
  
"With grape jelly?" Starfire asked, hopefully.   
  
Fighting the urge to gag, Raven simply nodded. "Whatever."   
  
  
  
Three days later, Robin found himself in the same spot at the very top of Titan Tower, surrounded by everything he owned in the world. Sadly, it all fit into two suitcases. At least he wouldn't have to worry about overloading Bruce's helicopter when it came to pick him up.   
  
"So, this is it," he said to the emptiness around him. A small green bug crawled closer to him, but he didn't notice it. Robin sighed after a minute had passed and picked up his bags. "Everyone…take care of yourselves."   
  
Catching him completely off guard, the bug he hadn't even seen suddenly morphed into Beast Boy. "You're really doing it.. "You're leaving."  
  
When Robin heart stopped racing from the surprise, he set his things down. "Yeah."  
  
"I don't suppose a funny joke or even the kitten eyes could convince you to stay." He chuckled almost bitterly. "Although I guess that if Star couldn't change your mind, nothing will."  
  
"How do you know about…"  
  
"Raven found her half-naked and crying up here a few days ago. You'd better be glad she's got control over those emotions of hers, or your butt might still be suspended upside down in mid-air."   
  
Although it wasn't visible due to his mask, Robin lowered his eyes. "I didn't know." He continued to stare at the floor. "I have no right to ask this, but would you do me a favor?" He took his friend's silence as a cue to go on. "Watch out for Star. For me."   
  
"I will. We all will. Just like she watches out for us. It's what we do here, remember?"  
  
"Beast Boy…please don't make this any harder." Robin cleared his throat. "No one might believe it, but this is the hardest thing I've ever done in my life."   
  
His green teammate considered him carefully. "Then why are you doing it?"  
  
"I can't explain it any better than I already have. I made this promise a long time ago. I can't go back on it now." He looked up at the sky. "Thanks for seeing me off."   
  
Beast Boy shrugged. "What are friends for?"  
  
"That's a good question." He hesitated. "I guess everyone got busy and forgot to come say goodbye?"  
  
"Do you want the truth?"  
  
"Not really."   
  
The wind picked up just then and the dull pounding throb of swirling blades signaled the helicopter's approach.   
  
"That's my ride," Robin said, his voice dull.  
  
Beast Boy squinted into the sun, checking out the sleek black chopper. "Not too shabby." With his hand extended, his friend approached him. "Don't be a stranger, Robin."  
  
He took Beast Boy's hand and shook it. "I'll do my best." A second later, he pulled the shorter Titan into a quick hug. "Hold down the fort."  
  
"You got it."   
  
The helicopter landed several yards away making it very difficult to hear Robin's next words. "Keep her safe." Stepping back, he grabbed his bags, ducked and ran to it. As the chopper took off, he cast one final look at the T-shaped tower he'd called home for more than five years. "Until we meet again."   
  
  
  
To Be Continued 


	4. Isn't it nice to be home again?

Disclaimer: Characters really don't belong to me, and it really kinda sucks, 'cause I can't make anyone animate Star and Rob kissies.  
  
Author's Notes: Wow, thanks everyone for all the great reviews! I hope you keep on reading and enjoying and all that. It tickles me:)  
  
  
  
Flying Home  
  
by Kristen Elizabeth  
  
  
  
"Stately Wayne Manor."   
  
Dying leaves crunched under Robin's feet as he walked up the long, curved driveway that led to Bruce's ridiculously oversized house. Clutching the mail he'd been sent to get in his hand, he kicked a small pile. This was what his days had come to. Literally watching the leaves change colors.  
  
Stately Wayne Manor was damn boring.   
  
After punching in the security code, Robin let himself into the foyer and closed the door behind him. More a museum than a home, the large room that greeted visitors spread out around him, cold marble, rich rugs and gleaming crystal. A grand staircase started at the far side and led up the other three floors of empty bedrooms and silent ballrooms. His own room was on the second floor at the very end, but despite being outfitted with everything from personal weights to the latest video game equipment, he had no desire to retreat to it.   
  
Robin set the mail down on the hall table and unwound his scarf as he considered the possibilities of what to do with the rest of the afternoon. Alfred was taking a much-needed nap; the beloved butler had aged so much since Robin had left to join the Titans. He knew that Bruce was relying on him to take care of the elderly man in his absence, and that at least gave him some sense of purpose. But not much.  
  
Since returning to the Manor two weeks earlier, he had only seen his mentor once, immediately upon his arrival. In fact, as Robin was coming in the door, Bruce was getting ready to leave on a business trip. At least, that's what the public story was; the truth lay in an emergency mission with the Justice League. They'd barely been able to say more than "hello" and "goodbye." There hadn't even been time for Robin to get ready to go along with him.   
  
So, what was he doing there? He'd asked himself that many times. Wasn't his entire reasoning behind abandoning his friends that Batman needed Robin to back him up? If he was just going to sit around and do nothing…well, he could have done that just as well at Titan Tower.   
  
And at least there he'd never have been bored. Or alone.   
  
"Dick."   
  
He almost didn't reply to his real name. He hadn't heard it in so long. But instinct compelled him to look up at the stairs. Bruce stood there, looking quite comfortable amidst his wealthy surroundings. The lord of the manor, Robin thought, wryly. Only a bandaged cut on his cheek marred the perfect picture of a millionaire playboy without a care in the world.   
  
"It's just Robin now," he replied.   
  
Bruce nodded. "Robin, then."   
  
He shrugged out of his brown corduroy jacket and hung it on the antique coat rack. "I didn't realize you were back."   
  
"I came in through the cave." The older man descended the stairs. "How are you settling back in?"   
  
"Fine, I guess. Everything's pretty much the same."   
  
Bruce reached the bottom; his footsteps across the marble floor echoed off the walls. "Not much changes in this house. It could stand a little life breathed into it."   
  
Robin raised his shoulders, dismissively. "It's peaceful."   
  
"I'm sure that it's a big adjustment after living with four other teenagers."   
  
"Oh yeah. A clean, well-stocked kitchen…no one hogging the bathroom…no screaming matches over tofu versus meat…" His tone was sardonic. "It's an adjustment I can easily make."  
  
Bruce studied him. The younger man's sarcasm was too forced to be real. If anything, his words created a mental image of a life his protégé had been reluctant to leave. And one he definitely missed already.   
  
"Perhaps," he began. "I could extend an invitation to the Titans for a long weekend visit sometime soon."   
  
Robin shook his head. "Thanks, but I don't think that'd be a good idea."   
  
A silent moment dragged by. "If there is something you want to tell me, now would be a good time to do it."   
  
"There's nothing," Robin said. Quickly, he changed the subject. "I don't want to be a pain, but I do kind of need a place to store my uniform. It doesn't take up a lot of space, so…"  
  
The older man nodded. "Of course. Actually, there's something in the cave that I'd like you to see."   
  
They each took separate hidden ways into the Batcave, but managed to arrive at the same time. Once inside, a shiver ran down Robin's spine. If possible, the cavernous depths where Bruce became Batman were darker than ever. Could it merely be due to the passage of time, or was his mentor secluding himself even more from the outside world? He knew from Alfred that there was no woman in Bruce's life at the moment, nor had there been for awhile.   
  
Robin swallowed. Was this his destiny, this life of dank loneliness?   
  
He followed Bruce into the chamber in which he stored his uniforms. Phantom images of Batman lined the walls, faceless and eerie, just waiting to be donned for another night of vigilante justice.   
  
They stopped in front of one display case. Robin frowned as he peered through the glass. The uniform inside looked nothing like Batman's, save for the fact that it was also black. It was lined in navy blue and seemed sleeker, if not slimmer than the others on display. Also, there was no hood, just a black mask hanging over the collar.   
  
Robin looked at his mentor. "Is this for me?"   
  
"You've outgrown the primary colors, wouldn't you say?" Bruce opened the glass door. "I just need your final approval on the design." He watched as Robin reached out and touched the uniform's rubber breastplate. It was blank, with no symbols or significant letters. "I didn't know what you would want there. An 'R?' A bird?"   
  
"Neither." Robin picked up the black mask. "Just wings."   
  
"Wings."   
  
Slipping a mask back on felt almost comfortable after going without one for two weeks. He secured it into place and looked at Bruce. "From now on, you can call me Nightwing."  
  
  
  
"Star, look out!!"   
  
Cyborg's warning came just in time for the Tamaranian girl to dodge an electric bolt. She missed it by inches and turned in mid-air to look back at their current opponent. Her eyes burned with green fury.   
  
"Quick on your toes, I see," the villain who called himself Pathos sneered at her. "Come back down and give me a fair fight, girly."   
  
"Do not call me 'girly,' please." Starfire's hands lit up with energy. "It is not my name."   
  
Pathos grinned, revealing a mouth of broken teeth. "Pretty little girly." He threw another bolt. "Let's play."  
  
It hit the side of the building Starfire hovered next to, causing a massive explosion. On the ground, the other Titans watched as their friend disappeared into the cloud of smoke and fire.  
  
"Star!!" Beast Boy cried out.   
  
Cyborg's eye narrowed. "Oh…that's it. This guy is toast. Raven, do it!"  
  
"Azarath, metrion, zinthos!" The words, and the power of her will, levitated the nearest street lamp. It shot towards Pathos, wrapping around him like a snake until his hands were immobilized.   
  
"What?" he cried. "No! Damn you, childish meddlers!"  
  
As Beast Boy ran past him, he changed into a horse for a brief second, and gave Pathos a direct kick with his hind leg. "Shut up!"   
  
Cyborg passed by him next. "If anything's happened to Star, I'm not gonna bother giving you to the police."  
  
Raven approached their restrained foe with silent steps. "You picked the wrong team to mess with." With a mere blink of her eye, the street lamp-turned-rope tightened enough to make Pathos wince.   
  
When she reached the pile of rubble, Cyborg was already throwing huge pieces of concrete aside. "Star, can you hear me?! Talk to me, darlin."  
  
Beast Boy gave up after a moment and morphed into a rat. He disappeared through a crack in the wreckage and reappeared a moment later. "A little to the left," he instructed, morphing back into his true form.   
  
With those directions, it only took another minute of searching before they reached Starfire's limp body. "Is she all right?" Cyborg asked.  
  
Raven examined their friend. "I think she's just been knocked out. Let's get her back to the Tower."  
  
"Should we move her?" Beast Boy scratched his head. "And what about that idiot?" He looked back at Pathos with a glare.   
  
"I'll take care of him."  
  
"No, Cyborg. We'll take Star back. Beast Boy, you stay here and wait for the authorities."  
  
The green Titan stared at Raven. "What? You're putting me in charge of the bad guy?" He blinked. "Aren't you afraid I'll screw it up?"  
  
Raven arched an eyebrow. "I trust you." She looked at Cyborg as he gingerly lifted Starfire up and out of the rubble. "Let's go."   
  
When they were gone, Beast Boy grinned. "Oh yeah…she wants me."  
  
  
  
Starfire woke up to darkness and silence. Her head throbbed, but other than that, she seemed to be in one piece as the human saying went. She remembered the explosion; beyond that, though, there was nothing.   
  
"Am I home?" she wondered aloud.  
  
The lamp next to her bed switched on and in the light, she could see the hulking figure of Cyborg sitting next to her bed. "Safe and sound," he told her. "Except for what's gonna be the mother of all bumps on your head."   
  
"We were triumphant?"  
  
Cyborg smiled. "Yeah, we were."  
  
"Excellent." The smile she returned was weak and withered away all too quickly. "It is becoming more difficult to win, is it not?"  
  
"I don't know if I'd say that. We're just settling into our new groove and it'll take time to…" He stopped. "Okay, yeah. It is."   
  
Starfire sat up a bit to see him better. "The four of us are very strong, but I do not believe we are strong enough."  
  
"What do you want to do? Get down on our knees and beg Robin to come back?" Cyborg stood up and paced for a moment. "He's gone and that's it. End of story."  
  
"You are angry with him. I understand this. But I do not share your anger, my friend. I am sorry."   
  
"Don't be. Anger doesn't suit you, Star."   
  
She sniffed softly. "I miss him very much. But I was not going to suggest that we ask him to resume his place. We need another Titan, yes?"  
  
"Sure. Okay. But it's not like superheroes are a dime a dozen." His eye grew wide. "Wait, are you thinking we could have, like, auditions or something? American Superhero. Yeah…I could get into that. I'm the jerk judge!"   
  
"It is an admirable idea, but I believe there may be a more simple way."   
  
"What's that?"   
  
"Searching for another person with powers would be very time consuming," she began.  
  
Cyborg caught on quick. "And why go through that…when we already know a couple of 'em." He stood up. "Hang tight, Star. I'll go make some calls." He paused at the door. "What do you think about the Young Adult Titans for a new name?" After short consideration, he made a face. "We'll take a vote."  
  
Once he was gone, Star put a hand to her aching head. "Oh, Robin, I am sorry. But if you truly are not coming back, we must go on." She closed her eyes. "Without you."   
  
  
  
"You did well tonight." Bruce came out of the cave's changing area, still buttoning up the starched shirt he'd been wearing when the Batsignal had been activated, alerting them to an attempted bank robbery. He looked at his partner's profile; Robin was sitting in the large chair in front of the computer console area, staring at one screen. His black uniform had been peeled down to his toned waist in order for Alfred to patch up a nasty abrasion on his ribcage. His mask was still in place, hiding his expression. If not for the hard set line of his mouth, Bruce wouldn't have been able to read him at all.   
  
"Did you hear me?"   
  
Robin turned the chair around to see the older man better. "Yeah. Thanks."   
  
"You know…I noticed something tonight. You're less impulsive than you used to be. More restrained."  
  
"Comes from leading a team, I guess. Always had to think of them first." Robin returned his attention to the flat screen computer panel.   
  
Bruce came up behind him. "Do you miss it?"  
  
"It's only been three months."   
  
"That wasn't my question."  
  
"Do I miss the responsibility of being in charge all the time? The answer is a really big 'no.'"  
  
The older man looked at the screen for the first time. It was a frozen image from a newscast. Behind the reporter were four vaguely familiar faces, one green, one pale, one metallic and one smiling sweetly. "The Titans," he said.   
  
"My friends." Robin snapped out of his trance. "They brought down a major crime syndicate."  
  
"All on their own," Bruce said, approvingly.   
  
"No. Not all on their own." Robin reached out and pressed a button. The image unfroze and the reporter continued with her recorded speech.   
  
"…wouldn't have been possible without a new addition to the team. With the recent departure of the Titans' leader, the mysterious Robin, there has been an empty place in our favorite group of young superheroes. Now, that position has been filled by a face not unfamiliar to this city. He calls himself Aqualad, but not much more is known about this amphibious hero. All we can say for now is that we'll all sleep sounder tonight knowing the Titans are, once again, a complete team. I'm Erin Capshaw, for…"  
  
Robin paused the recording again. "Do you know what the worst thing in the world is?" He stood up and faced his mentor. "Feeling replaceable." A moment passed. "Do you need me for anything else tonight?"  
  
"I think I've got it under control," Bruce replied, calmly. Robin moved past him, heading for the changing room. "Just one thing." The younger man turned around, crossing his arms over his bare chest. "Robin was a boy, but Nightwing is a man. And a man makes his own choices."  
  
Robin waited patiently for him to go on.   
  
"If being here isn't really your choice, you'll never be happy."  
  
"This was my choice," Robin told him.   
  
Bruce nodded. "All right then. Goodnight." He started up the stairs towards the entrance to the manor.   
  
Robin walked back over to the control area and pressed a button to rewind the recording. He stopped when her face filled the screen. She was looking up at someone, giving that person her beautiful smile, sharing her warmth. The image began to move in slow motion, panning up to reveal the person standing next to her.   
  
Aqualad looked back down at his Star; frame by frame, he watched the new Titan slip a hand around Starfire's waist.   
  
Robin ripped off his mask and threw it down. "It was my choice," he repeated. "But that doesn't make it the right one."  
  
  
  
To Be Continued 


	5. In too deep

Disclaimer: Characters do not belong to me. Oh woe, oh woe.  
  
Author's Notes: Feedback is so nice; thank you all so much! Please continue to read and enjoy, and I will keep trying to update as soon as humanely possible.   
  
  
  
Flying Home  
  
by Kristen Elizabeth  
  
  
  
'Cause every once in a while  
  
You think about if you're gonna   
  
Get yourself together  
  
You should be happy just to be alive  
  
And just because you just don't feel like comin' home  
  
Don't mean that you'll never arrive.  
  
- Jet  
  
  
  
After a perfect half-hour of silent, harmonious meditation, Starfire had reached the end of her rope. Cracking one eye open, she stole a look at the girl floating next to her in the same crossed-leg position. Raven seemed at peace; it wasn't going to be easy breaking into that peace, but Starfire had no choice. She needed to have a girl talk.   
  
"Friend Raven?"   
  
Raven sighed heavily. "What took you so long?" She opened her eyes. "Whatever you want to ask, go ahead."   
  
Starfire's shoulders relaxed a bit. "It is about Aqualad."   
  
"What about him?"   
  
The Tamaranian girl hesitated. "Before I say anything further, I must ask you one question. Do you still hold admiration in your heart for our new teammate?"   
  
"First of all, he's not exactly new," Raven replied. "Six months on the team and he's pretty much in the club. And secondly…" She looked at Starfire. "No, I don't. Crushes are over as quick as they come, and they're too much bother to try to keep up."   
  
"I understand." Starfire took a breath. "I believe Aqualad may be crushing upon me."   
  
This wasn't news to anyone else in the Tower. Practically from his first day, the latest addition to the Titans had made his interest in their alien friend abundantly clear. Raven had taken for granted that Starfire would notice the extra attention he heaped onto her…the long talks, the subtle hand-around-the-waist gesture…a normal woman would have picked up on it a long time ago.   
  
But Starfire was nothing if not innocent, so it didn't surprise her too much to hear the confusion in her friend's voice.   
  
With another sigh, Raven landed and faced the other girl.   
  
"Would it bother you if he was?"  
  
This seemed to puzzle her even more. "I do not know. He is very handsome and intelligent. And he will drink a delicious glass of mustard with me. But…" She looked away.   
  
"He's not Robin."   
  
"Robin is gone."   
  
"But not forgotten."   
  
Starfire's eyes watered. "Even after the Rekmas, friends are not forgotten."   
  
Raven walked to the circular sofa and sat down. "I say you should go for it. Why not? You'd make a cute couple. A disturbingly cute couple."   
  
"Is it wrong that if I were to 'go for it,' I would never feel for him what I have felt for Robin?"   
  
One look at her friend's pleading, tearful expression told Raven that she wasn't looking for an answer, so much as reassurance.   
  
"You have every right to be happy." Raven picked up her book. "If Robin can't be a part of that, you'll have to find it somewhere else."   
  
With Raven engrossing herself in her latest horror novel, the girl talk was effectively over. Starfire tried to feel better about the whole situation as she floated out of the living area and back to her room, but she just couldn't muster anything but self-doubt. Self-doubt and guilt.   
  
She steered herself past Robin's old room. She'd spent too much time there in the past few months. It had long since lost the haunting scent of him.   
  
Aqualad's room was just next to it; she knew he would be inside, immersed in the massive aquarium his personal mechanic, Tram, had built for him. While he still preferred to spend as much time as possible in the waters surrounding their little island, he was still a member of the team, and needed to be on call. The room-turned-tank allowed him to be in the Tower, but still in his natural habitat.   
  
Starfire didn't bother knocking. If he was underwater, he wouldn't be able to hear it anyways. She simply let herself in.   
  
There was a ten-foot section of floor that still remained intact; it was the only "dry land" left in the room, and contained nothing more than a few chairs and a closet with a few articles of clothing and a large stack of fluffy towels, more for his teammates than for him. A metal ladder clung to the abrupt edge of the floor and led down into the dark blue waters that made up the rest of the sixty-foot space.  
  
Although she'd never been invited into the true depths of Aqualad's quarters, she knew that the water went down at least three stories.   
  
The room smelled of sea salt and fresh air that was pumped in to keep the temperature regulated. She flew to the very edge and once there, removed her purple boots and sat down, dipping her toes into the cool water. It felt delightful.   
  
Just then, something grabbed her toe and playfully jerked. If she hadn't grabbed the ladder, she would have been pulled in. Aqualad surfaced, a broad smile on his face.   
  
"Did I startle you?" he asked.   
  
"Yes," Starfire replied truthfully. "But it is my fault. I intruded."   
  
"Not at all." He treaded water a few feet out. "I'd love some company. In fact, why don't you join me?" When she blushed, Aqualad swam closer. "It could be fun."   
  
"I cannot breathe underneath the water as you can," she excused herself a little too quickly.   
  
"We don't have to go diving down to my bed." He paused. "All right, that came out wrong."   
  
Starfire frowned. "It did?"   
  
"Star…look. I've been meaning to talk to you about something for awhile now." Aqualad reached the ladder and hauled himself out of the water with fluid grace. He wasn't wearing his full uniform, just a tight pair of black rubber pants. His hair was slicked back from his forehead and plastered to his muscular shoulders. She tried not to stare, but he presented a picture worth staring at. "It's about us."   
  
She waited for him to go on, which he did after a long moment. "I want there to be an 'us.' Do you know what I mean?"   
  
"Yes. I was right. You are crushing upon me," Starfire said with a fair amount of wonder.   
  
He smiled. "Yeah, I guess I am. So…what do you think?" Off her confused look, he clarified, "About the two of us maybe…going out sometime? I don't have a lot of experience in these things, either, so maybe I'm going about this all wrong. But I like you, Star."   
  
"I like you, too. We are teammates and friends."   
  
"But I want to get to know you better. As more than a teammate. And more than just a friend."   
  
Starfire looked out over the settling surface of the water. Funny how she could be entirely surrounded by one man's world, but only be able to see another man's face when she closed her eyes. Robin. How could he fill her mind so completely when she was sitting next to another very attractive, half-dressed member of the opposite sex?   
  
"Are you thinking about Robin?" Her eyes flew open. He chuckled. "No, I can't read your mind. Just your melancholy. You are, though, aren't you?"   
  
"I am sorry," she whispered.   
  
Aqualad shook his head. "Don't be. It's understandable. I know he still holds onto your heart, even from a distance. But having been here for a long time now, I think I can safely say I know you, Star. You have the biggest heart of anyone I've ever met." He paused. "Do you think, just maybe, there might be some room in it for me, too?"   
  
The answer to his question rested on the very tip of her tongue when the alarm rang out. Cyborg's voice boomed through the intercom system. "Butts in gear, people. We gotta move!"   
  
Starfire stood up. "I will leave so that you may finish dressing." She averted her eyes from his bare, water-dappled chest and grabbed her boots. Barefoot, she flew out of the room. Once the door had closed, she landed and rested her head against the wall.   
  
"Hey, Star!" Beast Boy nearly ran past her. "You'd better hurry up or Cyborg's gonna pitch one of his hissy fits."   
  
She gave her green friend as bright a smile as was possible. "I shall follow you into glorious battle as soon as I put on my leg casings."   
  
The boots she was clutching in her hand suddenly began to levitate. Raven approached them from behind. "Encase your legs in the car on the way there. I'm in no mood for one of Cyborg's hissy fits."   
  
Aqualad stepped out of his room just then, fully clothed in his usual uniform. "Are we having a party in the hallway? Cyborg's going to have a hissy fit."   
  
Starfire smothered a giggle behind her hand. Trust her team, her friends, to make her laugh when she needed it the most.   
  
  
  
"Still the best pizza in the city," Robin said to himself as he picked up a steaming slice loaded down with pepperoni, mushrooms and black olives. Instead of taking a bite, though, he stared at the gooey treat.   
  
Pizza was one thing that wasn't readily available at Wayne Manor, unless one wanted to risk the wrath of Alfred when one of his gourmet meals was turned down in favor of a call to the nearest delivery place.   
  
The cheese was starting to slide off, so Robin took a big bite. If the past had a taste, it would be this. Pizza had been as much a part of life in Titan Tower as anything. They'd eaten it, argued over it, eaten some more of it, left it in the fridge until it turned fuzzy and blue, and even then it had still been eaten by at least one of them.   
  
He swallowed. She was always doing that, creeping into his thoughts at the oddest moments. He thought that after nine months without seeing her, she'd gradually start to fade into a pleasant memory. But no…Starfire was a raw wound he'd inflicted upon himself, and thinking of her only poured salt onto it.   
  
Robin set the pizza slice down and wiped his mouth on a paper napkin. He shouldn't have come to this place…hell, he shouldn't have even come to the city at all. But with Bruce on an extended getaway somewhere in Fiji with his latest lady love and Alfred on vacation with his family in England, the mansion had become just a little too big for one person. He'd needed to get out and do something, be around people, eat something that wasn't leftover. Or French. There was nothing worse than day-old escargot.   
  
On the street below, dozens of people milled about, heading off to dance clubs or other restaurants or the movie theatre, every single of one of them happy to be free for the weekend. With his jeans, un-tucked button down shirt and jacket, he might have blended in with them.   
  
But the mask, the mask that was always in place covered his face, separating him from a normal life. Yes, he hid behind it, but it was necessary. Even in such a peaceful setting, something could wrong in an instant.   
  
"Help!!" A blood-curdling scream from the street jolted him to attention. "They're robbing the jewelry store!!"   
  
Robin shook his head in amazment...and annoyance. Life had the oddest sense of timing.   
  
Leaving his pizza behind, he ducked into the men's restroom and emerged a moment later, having discarded his street clothes. Nightwing had taken the place of Robin, and he received more than few stares from the other patrons who had gathered around the balcony to watch the scene below.   
  
This was why the mask was so important.   
  
Ignoring them, Robin leapt onto the railing and quickly planned out his next move.   
  
  
  
"They said the robbers went that way." Beast Boy pointed to a side street just down the block. He barely had time to close the T-car's door before Cyborg took off. The sudden movement pitched him against Raven. He looked up at her with a toothy grin. "Hey there, good-lookin'."   
  
Raven narrowed her eyes. "Cyborg, ease off the gas. Some of us would like to keep our dinners where they belong." She didn't, however, push Beast Boy away.   
  
"What's the rule on backseat driving?" he barked back.   
  
Starfire raised her hand. "Backseat drivers shall walk to the next emergency."   
  
"Very good, Star." Cyborg yanked the wheel to the right just then, taking the turn down the side street as sharp as possible. The car's passengers were instantly jerked to the left, causing Raven's eyes to narrow even more as Beast Boy was practically thrown into her lap.  
  
In the backseat, Starfire suddenly found herself pressed up against Aqualad's side. Her cheeks burned as she scooted back into her proper place. "Forgive me."   
  
"Nothing to forgive," he replied with a smile.   
  
There was no more said between them, although there were a lot of jokes, insults and deadpans being thrown around by their teammates. After only a short while, Cyborg slammed on the brakes, sending them all sailing forward.   
  
With his face squashed against the back of Cyborg's seat, Beast Boy groaned in pain. "I guess we're here."   
  
"Star, hit the air!" Cyborg ordered. He pointed down the street just as the ski-mask clad robbers rounded the corner. "We'll trail you!"  
  
Aqualad leaned over and opened the door for her. "Be careful."   
  
Starfire shot out and focused on her mission. Anything to keep from concentrating on how warm she'd felt crushed up against his body. It was too upsetting. It made her feel even more guilty.   
  
She flew around the same corner the robbers had taken and came to a halt, but not just because it was a dead-end alley. The two robbers sat back to back by a clump of garbage cans, bound and gagged. Starfire hovered for a moment, puzzling out the picture in front of her. Before she had put all of the pieces together, something moved in the shadows, startling her.  
  
"Hello? Is someone there?" There was no reply. "Whoever you are, please, show yourself."  
  
"Don't be alarmed."  
  
Hearing his voice after so many months stopped her heart for at least one beat. Her hand flew to her mouth. "Robin?"  
  
The man who stepped into the light of the street lamp wasn't Robin. At least not the Robin she remembered. However, he was very familiar.   
  
"Nightwing," she said softly.   
  
"Star." He stumbled forward, clutching one hand to his side. The black material of his uniform was slick with blood.   
  
"You are injured!" She flew to his side and caught him before he could fall. "What have they done to you?"   
  
He didn't answer; his teeth were clenched in pain as he held onto her for dear life. Just then, the other Titans rounded the corner…each of them coming to a screeching stop upon seeing them.   
  
"Whoa." Beast Boy blinked. "Am I seeing stuff or is that…"  
  
"Robin." Raven pulled back the hood of her cape. "It's him."   
  
Aqualad looked past Starfire and Robin at the robbers, swallowing a sudden lump in his throat. "They're not going anywhere," he noted. "That's good, right?"  
  
Cyborg took a bit longer to recover. He folded his massive arms across his metal chest. "What's up, Robin? Not enough action in Gotham? You've gotta come play hero on our turf, too?"  
  
"We've got turf?" Beast Boy asked. "Cool!"   
  
"Friends, now is not the time to argue," Starfire said frantically. "Robin is bleeding; we must give him medical attention!"   
  
"We should get him to the Tower. A hospital will ask too many questions about his identity," Aqualad said, gravely.  
  
"I don't want blood all over my baby."  
  
"Dude," Beast Boy frowned at Cyborg. "That is ice cold and totally uncool."   
  
Raven walked up to him as calmly as possible. "Get over your car, or I'll drop you into another dimension. This is still Robin."   
  
He looked away. "Yeah. All right."   
  
Starfire tightened her grip on Robin's waist. "You will be fine soon," she promised. "I will not let anything happen to you."  
  
"Star," he repeated. Her face was getting blurry, and the whole world was spinning around him. Before he slipped into sweet unconsciousness, Robin smiled at her. "I've missed you…so much."   
  
  
  
To Be Continued 


	6. We used to be friends

Disclaimer: Characters within do not belong to me, but it would supersweet if I did have some real control over them.   
  
Author's Notes: My apologies for the delay. I had some surgery two weekends ago and have spent a lot of time since then whining and popping pain pills. But I'm a lot better now, and finally able to put my laptop on my lap, so I got this chapter out. I hope everyone enjoys it. And thanks so much for all the reviews so far. See ya sooner than later!  
  
  
  
Flying Home  
  
by Kristen Elizabeth  
  
  
  
Something cool and damp lay across his forehead. Robin slowly opened his eyes. A white washcloth blocked most of his vision. He frowned. Was he sick? In addition to all of the other things he did around the manor, was Alfred having to nurse him back to health?  
  
But Alfred didn't sing. Or if he did, he didn't sing in an alien language. Robin could hear the sweet voice, but couldn't understand a single word. There was only one person who sang like that…  
  
"Star."  
  
She was at his side in a flash. "You are awake! This is wonderful." She removed the cool compress, and he could see her hovering above him. Her emerald eyes, her peachy skin, her fiery hair…if he was dreaming, there was no reason to wake himself up.   
  
"Where am I?"   
  
"You are in Titan Tower," Starfire replied. "You have been asleep for a whole day and we have tended to your injuries."  
  
"Injuries?"  
  
"Do you not remember? You stopped a group of jewelry thieves, but one of them carried a terrible weapon and you were wounded."  
  
A flash of metal. The hot sting of a blade in his ribs. He'd been stabbed, straight through his uniform. Suddenly, a thought hit him with far more force. His mask! His hands flew to his face, searching. It was still there, in its proper place.   
  
"I did not remove it," Starfire told him. "I did not think you would want me to."   
  
"Thanks." Robin relaxed. "Really, Star…thank you."  
  
Starfire smoothed down the sheet covering his chest. "I am just glad that you are…here. I was very worried."   
  
"I'm a bleeder, but I recover quickly." Robin winced as he tried to sit up.   
  
"Do not do that!" she scolded. "You require rest in order to heal."   
  
Robin spoke through teeth tightly clenched in pain. "I think a whole day of rest is quite enough." He lifted the covers up off his lower body, blinked, and quickly tucked the sheets back into place. "Where are my pants?"  
  
She looked away, sheepish. "Your uniform had to be removed in order for Raven to heal your wounds."  
  
"Did you…?"  
  
"No! No, Beast Boy volunteered."  
  
"He volunteered?"  
  
"After Raven conversed with him."  
  
He frowned. "That's all it took?"  
  
"Well…he might have been pressed against the ceiling at the time of the conversation."   
  
Robin suppressed a grin. "Things really do stay the same."   
  
Starfire sat on the edge of the bed. "Before…when I said that I am glad you are here…I did not only mean here alive. I meant here at all. Home."  
  
"Star." He swallowed. "I can't…" Robin sighed. "Can I maybe get a drink of water?"  
  
Her hand flew to her mouth. "What a blarthbart I am! Of course, Robin. I will be right back." She ran out of the room, frantic to correct what she considered to be a grave offense.   
  
Robin let out a shaky breath, surprised at the pain even that brought. "I thought she said Raven healed me," he muttered.   
  
"I did." The woman in question slipped out of the shadow she'd been hiding in. "But I might not have put my entire heart and soul into it."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
Raven approached his bed on silent feet. "Because I'm not going to make it so easy for you to walk out of here this time."   
  
"You think it was easy last time?"  
  
"Maybe." She shrugged. "You did it and you managed to stay away for nine months. Seems to me that's a lot easier than making any effort to keep in contact."   
  
He shook his head against his pillow. "You have no idea."   
  
"Enlighten me."   
  
"Look, I don't want to cause any more trouble than I already have." Ignoring the lingering pain, Robin sat up. "Just point me towards my pants, and I'll be on my way."   
  
Raven folded her arms across her chest. "Maybe I was wrong. You might not be Robin anymore."   
  
"I'm not," he replied. "Robin grew up."   
  
"Robin flew the coop," she snapped back.   
  
"Listen, you don't know how much I'd like to just…"   
  
Starfire cut him off by re-entering with a glass of water. "Friend Raven?" She looked at Robin. "Please, Robin…you must lie down in order that you might heal more quickly."   
  
"Why should we let him heal?" Raven asked. "As soon as he does, he'll leave again."   
  
"I know." The Tamaranian girl set the water down on Robin's nightstand. "But if going is what Robin wishes to do, we should not stop him."   
  
"Star." He swallowed, his dry throat sticking slightly. "I don't want you to think that I don't care for…all of you. But I have other loyalties that I can't just abandon."   
  
She looked at him with emerald eyes that shone with unshed tears. "I only ask that you stay long enough to ensure that your injuries will no longer hurt you. Raven." After exchange a long look with the other girl, Starfire moved towards the door. "We will leave you alone now."   
  
"It's okay!" he called out, a bit too quickly. "You can stay. You know, if you want. To keep me company."   
  
Raven followed her teammate. "I'll send Beast Boy in to keep you company."   
  
When they were gone, Robin cursed out loud. For the first time he was realizing just how much damage he'd caused.   
  
And it was hurting worse that his half-healed stab wound.   
  
  
  
Starfire stood in the kitchen, staring at a can of tomato soup. She was trying to prepare it for Robin's lunch, but for some reason, she just couldn't perform the simple task without wanting to break down and cry. Maybe it was because tomato soup was what Robin had made for her when she came down with her first human cold. He'd helped her sip it, holding the spoon up to her lips and assuring her that it was perfectly normal if she couldn't taste it. She'd thanked him, accentuated the thanks with a sneeze, and for a long moment, it had seemed like Robin might just lean in and brush his lips across hers. A kiss, something she'd seen in movies and witnessed between others, but never experienced for herself.   
  
But in the end, he'd pulled back just in time, and nothing had come of it.   
  
That indefinable, unbearable intimacy still hung between them, even after months of separation. She felt it every time she entered his room to check on him. Over the past two days, he'd spent most of his time sleeping, despite his proclamations that he was doing just fine. Ever so often, he'd mumble a few words, but nothing she could make any sense of. He had a low-grade fever, according to Cyborg's reluctant scan, but his wounds were almost entirely healed. In a few days, he'd be free to walk out of the Tower…free to leave them all. Again.   
  
Just when she had started to cut into the can with the electric opener, she felt someone come up behind her. "There you are." Aqualad set his hands on her shoulders, surrounding her. "It's a bit early for dinner, isn't it?"   
  
"It is not for me, but for Robin," she replied.   
  
"Oh, yeah. Of course."   
  
"Nourishment is essential to a complete recovery."   
  
"That's what they say." Aqualad leaned back against the counter and watched her prepare the soup. "Are you all right, Starfire? The past couple of days you've barely said two words."  
  
She frowned as she stirred in a can of milk. "I have not kept count, but I am sure I have said more words than that."   
  
"Not to me." He stepped closer to her. "I've missed talking to you."   
  
"I am sorry."  
  
"It's all right. I know you've been busy. With Robin."  
  
Over her shoulder, Starfire looked at him strangely. "He was badly injured and has required much of my attention."   
  
"You really are way too good," Aqualad said, smiling ruefully. "For him. Maybe for anyone."  
  
"I do not understand what you mean."  
  
"I know." He came up behind her and gently took the spoon from her hand. Turning her around to face him, Aqualad held her face between his hands. "That's a lot of what makes you so good. You don't have any idea…how special you are."   
  
She was shocked at how icy his mouth was against hers, but she probably should have been, considering the rest of him was cool to the touch. It took her a long moment to figure out what was going on. She was being kissed. It was the strangest feeling. Although every movie and book had led her to believe there would be fireworks, the strange feeling wasn't all that great.   
  
Starfire parted her lips to try to protest, but apparently this was a signal of some sort for Aqualad, because instead of letting her go, the kiss grew deeper. Was that his tongue trying to touch hers?   
  
"No!" she cried, twisting her head to the side. "Please do not be upset with me." She looked back at him. "But I cannot do this."   
  
Aqualad understood, or at least that's what he told her, and the incident seemed to pass. Unfortunately neither of them had noticed Robin limp into the kitchen in the middle of their kiss. He left before it ended, just as quietly.  
  
  
  
"So. You're just gonna waltz off into the sunset again."  
  
At the door that led out of the Tower, Robin stopped upon hearing Cyborg's deep voice echoing off the metal walls that made up the entranceway. He sighed, winced at the slight pain in his ribs and turned to face his old friend. "It's the middle of the day."  
  
"Not your best comeback ever." Cyborg stepped forward, his massive metal and flesh arms folded tightly. "You're getting soft."   
  
"I'll work on it." A long moment passed. "See ya."  
  
"Wait just one damn minute." Cyborg unfolded his arms. "I've got stuff to say, and this time I'm gonna say it before you run out on us."   
  
Robin frowned. "I didn't run out last time. I gave explanations and fair warning. And the only reason I'm leaving like this now is because I know when I'm not wanted or needed anymore. So this chip on your shoulder…why don't you knock it off and at least try to understand where I'm coming from?"  
  
"Can't do that," Cyborg replied. "See, the way I'm thinking, all those reasons you gave were crap."  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"Crap. Poop. Excrement. Bullshit. You don't just go from being our leader to being someone's sidekick, voluntarily, especially. It just don't work that way." He sniffed, triumphantly. "You want me to get rid of my chip…you give me some real reasons why you wanted out."  
  
Robin's temper sparked suddenly. "Why does everyone think I wanted this? Am I the only one who knows anything about duty and sacrifice and loyalties and…and…duty!"  
  
"You said that one already."  
  
"It bears repeating." He pointed one finger at his cybernetic friend. "I owe Batman more than you could ever imagine. I owe him my life." He sighed, his temper deflating. "I was wrong. You can't possibly understand."   
  
Another awkward pause stretched between them until it was almost unbearable. Finally, Cyborg cleared his throat. "At least say goodbye to her. You're big into owing people stuff. You owe her a goodbye."  
  
Robin shook his head. "Star deserves…everything. But I can't…I'm not the right person to give her…what she deserves. Obviously."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Nothing, nothing. So."  
  
"So? Um…so what?"  
  
"I've really gotta get going," Robin continued  
  
Cyborg crossed the distance between them and towered over Robin. To anyone else, it would have been intimidating. But Robin just looked up, meeting his friend's hard stare with a calm one. After what seemed like forever, Cyborg relaxed and clapped a hand against Robin's shoulder, fairly slapping his exposed collar bone. "Do what you gotta do. I don't like it, though. Got it?"  
  
"Got it." Robin smiled weakly. "Thanks." He opened the door, letting in a long shaft of light. "You're doing a really great job with the team. Just so you know."   
  
Cyborg nodded. "Take it easy, Rob." When the door closed behind him, Cyborg looked at the display panel in his arm. A red, blinking light on the mapped screen began to move away from the Tower. He smiled.   
  
"I see you."  
  
  
  
Robin returned to an empty mansion. After three days of happy chaos, the silence was overwhelming. He quickly snapped on two TV's and the radio in his room, but he was still surrounded by emptiness. With a sigh, he went into the kitchen, popped a frozen pizza into the oven and started up the stairs to take a long shower.   
  
Once he was dressed, he put on his mask out of nothing but instinct. He realized it a moment later, and was about to take it off, when doorbell rang. Instantly, he was on guard. In order to get to the front door, one had to be buzzed in at the gate. He didn't bother with the stairs, swinging himself down to the foyer instead. Once there, he approached the door with trained caution and looked at the monitor, hidden in a wooden panel. The security camera that watched the front of the house showed something that made his jaw drop.   
  
He grabbed the door and flung it open.  
  
"Starfire." She was there. At Wayne Manor. The house that wasn't supposed to have any connection to Batman or Robin or even Nightwing. He swallowed. If Bruce found out about this when he came back from Fiji, he was not going to be happy. "I don't understand…how did you know where to find me?"  
  
"Forgive me," she asked quietly. "On your neck, you will find a small tracking device."  
  
His hand automatically flew to the back of his neck; he found the chip after a moment and peeled it off. "You shouldn't have, Star. You know I have an identity that has to be kept a secret."  
  
"I am sorry, but when I discovered that you had left, Cyborg informed me that he placed the device on you, so that we might know where to contact you in the future. In truth, I have very little idea where I am." Starfire looked down at the stone stoop. "But even if I did, do you not trust that your secrets, whatever they are, would be safe with me?"  
  
He instantly felt shamed. "Of course I trust you. It's not that. It's just…you surprised me."   
  
"It was unavoidable." She lifted her gaze to meet his. "Twice now you have left us without a proper exchange of farewells. I did not wish for another nine months to pass before we spoke again."   
  
"I didn't think…" Robin sighed. "You seemed pretty occupied. And I had to go, so I just…did." Her lower lip quivered slightly. "I'm sorry."  
  
She bit her lip to keep it still. "What could you imagine would keep me so occupied that I would not have time to say goodbye to my friend?"  
  
He didn't even want to say Aqualad's name out loud, so Robin quickly changed the subject. "Why don't you come in? It's getting cold out there."   
  
Once inside the mansion, his ploy worked, as Starfire was temporarily distracted by the splendor of her surroundings. "It is not a home, but a palace!" she exclaimed. "Do all humans live in such places?"  
  
"Less than a handful," he replied, taking her purple coat and hanging it up. "But speaking of palaces, didn't you used to live in one? On Tamaran?"  
  
"Back home, the royal family tries to set an example by living amongst the people, in homes the same as theirs."  
  
"I didn't know." Robin smiled. "That's kind of cool."   
  
"No. During the summer heats, it is not."   
  
He laughed; his voice echoed off the endless walls. Laughter. How long had it been since this place had experienced any? "God, Star…you're here for two minutes and already you've lit up…" He stopped. "How do you do that?"  
  
She frowned, confused. "What did I do?"   
  
Instead of answering, he took a step closer to her. She smelled like fresh air from her flight; her hair was gently tangled from the winds and her cheeks were flushed. "Nothing wrong, trust me." Robin reached out and touched one tousled lock that hung over her shoulder. "You shouldn't have come here…but I'm so glad you did, Star."  
  
"Robin. Why did you leave without saying goodbye?"  
  
"I can't explain it. I don't have an explanation, at least not one that's good enough. I just…" He stopped. "It's something I have to do."  
  
Her eyes brimmed over with tears, but she kept her chin up. "In the alleyway, before you fell into unconsciousness, you told me that you have missed me. Have you?"  
  
Robin turned away for a moment. "Yes," he admitted in a soft voice. He turned back around. "God, Star…you have no idea how much I've missed you."   
  
"Then how could you stay away for so long? And how could you leave again so soon?"  
  
"I don't know." He ran his fingers underneath the very bottom of his mask. "I'm just trying to do what's right. I'm always trying to do what's right. And one day, I'll actually succeed without hurting anyone."   
  
Starfire sniffed. "It is just such ambition in you that I admire so greatly. But Robin, perhaps, just for once, you could do what makes you happy. Whether it is right or not."   
  
"You don't understand what you're asking." He hesitated. "If I do what you're suggesting…if I just do what I want without thinking about any possible consequences…no!" His head swung back and forth violently. "No, I won't ruin what's good between us just because I can't control myself!"  
  
"I have tried to understand why you always wish to be in such tight control, Robin, but I cannot. And I do not think I ever will." She started for the coat rack, slowly lifting her jacket from the peg it hung on. "I will go now, and promise I shall never let anyone know where you live." Starfire lifted off the ground and floated to the door. "Please do not be a stranger to us anymore. Even if you cannot live with us and be part of our team, it does not mean that we cannot exchange visits. As friends."   
  
She was almost entirely out the door before Robin replied. "Friends." She glanced back at him. "That's just it, Star. I can't be just your friend anymore." The horribly hurt look that crumpled her face broke the remaining bits of his resolve. Robin walked to her and took her hand, urging her to land on her feet. Once she had, he swallowed and forged on. "It's not enough for me."   
  
"Robin?"   
  
He cupped her face in his hands and all she could think about was how warm he was. "Don't go, Star," he begged. "Don't let me run you out of my life. Because it's not much of one without you in it."   
  
She stared up at him, searching his face for something. With her own hands, she reached up and gently tugged his mask up and off. For the first time, Starfire looked Robin in the eye.   
  
"Would you please kiss me now?"   
  
His lips touched hers, hot and soft, and this time, she parted her lips not to speak, but to feel more of him. The kiss grew deeper. Robin pulled her closer; her arms circled his neck.   
  
"Star," he whispered, breaking away long enough to plant a moist kiss just under her jaw. "I need to know that this is what you…"  
  
She cut him off, placing her finger against his mouth. "I understand everything. And I want it, Robin." She kissed him again. "I want this."   
  
Embracing again, Robin leaned down and swept her up into his arms. He took the stairs quickly, heading for his room.   
  
  
  
To Be Continued 


	7. Guess that's why they call it the blues

Disclaimer: Characters do not belong to me. Simple as that.  
  
Author's Notes: Thank you everyone for your sweet concern about my surgery. Really, it wasn't major stuff and I'm doing just fine now. As evidenced by this new chapter! Enjoy and take care;)  
  
???????????????????????????????????????  
  
Flying Home  
  
by Kristen Elizabeth  
  
???????????????????????????????????????  
  
And I never saw blue like that before  
  
Across the sky  
  
Around the world  
  
You've given me all you have and more  
  
And no one else has ever shown me how  
  
To see the world the way I see it now  
  
Oh, I never saw blue like that  
  
-Shawn Colvin  
  
???????????????????????????????????????  
  
"Everything's different now."  
  
Curled up against Robin's bare chest, Starfire nodded happily. "Yes. I did not know…Raven did not tell me…how glorious it would be."  
  
He dropped a kiss on the top of her head. "Just what did Raven tell you?"  
  
"She said it was awkward and painful and messy."  
  
"And you still wanted to?"  
  
Starfire snuggled further into the crook of his arm. "I believed it would be worth it. And I was right."  
  
"Star…" He stopped, unable to come up with adequate words. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"  
  
"You did not," she replied. "I have never been happier in my entire life than I am right now."  
  
"I know what you mean," he whispered.  
  
They spent a long moment of pure contentment, skin to skin, simply listening to each other's heartbeats. Robin's fingers traced patterns up and down Star's back, reveling in her softness. She'd given her whole self to him without reservations, and for as long as he lived, he'd never figure out what good thing he'd done to deserve such a gift. He never wanted to move, he never wanted to let her go again. She belonged right there, in his bed, in his arms.  
  
But was he letting his baser instincts get in the way of what he knew was right?  
  
"Robin," Starfire said softly. "Was this enjoyable for you?"  
  
He almost laughed, but stopped himself just in time. "Yes. God, yes. Star…I've never felt anything like this." With the tip of his finger, Robin tipped her chin up so he could see her. "It was enjoyable for me."  
  
"I am glad." She sat up and looked down at him with a determined expression. "Now you will come home so that we might be intimate every night."  
  
Robin's eyes grew wide. "Star, I'm not a machine." She tipped her head to one side, frowning. "Not that I wouldn't give it a shot, I'm just…I mean…" He propped himself up on his elbows. "Do we have to talk about this right now?"  
  
"What else do people talk about when they are in bed?"  
  
"Um…good question." His stomach answered it for him, grumbling with massive intensity. "Food."  
  
"Food?"  
  
"I had a pizza in the oven. Good thing Bru…um…the oven turn itself off. It's probably stone cold now, but I could heat it…" He frowned. "Star? What's wrong?"  
  
Starfire looked down at her hands, her lower lip trembling. "What did you really mean when you said that everything is different?"  
  
"I don't know," he answered, quietly. "Everything, I guess. The team back at the Tower, for one. I mean Beast Boy alone…"  
  
"He has hit his spurt of growth," she told him. "Cyborg said it was about time and I often see Raven looking at him very oddly."  
  
Robin flopped back onto his pillows. "Everyone's changed and moved on…and now us…" He looked away. "Maybe we rushed into this."  
  
"I did not rush," Starfire said a few moments later. "I am sorry if you feel that you did." Wrapped up in Robin's comforter, she slipped out of bed. "I wanted very much to make some love with you."  
  
"I wanted it, too."  
  
She held the makeshift robe closed just over her heart; the dark blue fabric draped her perfectly. Robin shifted under the single sheet she'd left behind, desire creeping up anew. "But you still do not wish to come home. Not even to be with me."  
  
"It's not that simple, Star."  
  
Starfire shook her head. "I believe that it is."  
  
"I wish I could make you understand."  
  
"You cannot." With her free hand, she reached for her skirt. It lay in a crumpled pile along with his shirt and jeans. "And I do not think there is anything more to say."  
  
"Star. Star, wait." He jumped out bed and reached her just as she let go of the comforter. Robin came up behind her and gently placed his hands on her shoulders. "Star, I'm sorry."  
  
"Please do not say beautiful things if you do not mean them."  
  
Robin kissed the fragrant nape of her neck. "Come back to bed."  
  
She hesitated. "If our intimacy is not going to bond us, then why…"  
  
"I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow. Getting stabbed kind of proved to me that I'm not invincible." He turned her around, his hands dropping down to her slender waist. "I don't want to lose what we've found here so soon."  
  
Starfire looked up at him, searching the eyes he'd kept hidden for so many years. "So many shades of blue." She reached up and touched his cheek. "You hide so much, Robin."  
  
"I have to."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because. I don't know how else to live."  
  
"Oh Robin." Rising onto her toes she kissed both his cheeks, then let her lips linger on his. "When I first arrived on Earth, I did not know how to live here. You helped me learn the things I needed to know. You were my teacher and my friend. But now, Robin…" She slipped her arms around his neck. "I believe it is my turn to teach you something."  
  
?????????????????????????????????????  
  
"Star's been gone a long time." Beast Boy flopped onto the couch next to Raven. "Think she's okay?"  
  
Raven refused to look away from her book, but his sudden presence was not unwelcome. Did he smell especially good, or was her mind playing tricks on her? "I'd imagine they're either fighting or having sex. Either way, I'm sure she can take care of herself."  
  
He frowned, considering this. "Well, if they are having sex, maybe it means he'll come back to the Tower."  
  
"I wouldn't count on it." Raven marked her place and set her book aside.  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Because." She crossed her legs and folded her arms. "Sex isn't some relationship miracle cure. Whatever's bothering Robin isn't going to be solved by a quick roll in the sack."  
  
"And you'd know for sure?" he asked.  
  
Raven shot him a brief look. "Yeah. I would."  
  
"How?"  
  
She stood up abruptly. "If anyone needs me, I'll be on the roof."  
  
"Raven, wait." Beast Boy stood up and reached for her arm. Just before his fingers made contact with her skin, all she could think about was how tall he was now. She had to peer up to meet his eyes. His hand nearly scorched her cool skin. "You know, if you ever want to talk about…um…stuff, I'm here."  
  
"I don't want to talk about 'stuff.' There is no 'stuff' to talk about," she snapped back. "Please let go of my arm."  
  
He released her immediately. His face, still green but now with the features of a man, rather than a boy, fell. "You'll never let me in, will you?"  
  
"I don't let anyone in." She turned, her dark blue cape billowing around her. "Get used to it."  
  
"Just so you know," Beast Boy called out even as she walked away. "That's never gonna happen." He repeated the vow under his breath. "Never."  
  
???????????????????????????????????????  
  
Starfire woke with the sun and before Robin showed any signs of stirring. She worried momentarily that the night's activities might have aggravated his wound, but he'd continued to assure her, even in the heights of passion, that he was all right.  
  
Sitting up next to his sleeping body, she happily hugged her knees her chest. This was it was like to be lovers with another being. She'd had her first taste of pleasure and now she was experiencing the warmth and security of a shared bed. She couldn't keep a silly smile off her face.  
  
Pressing two fingers against her lips, she transferred the kiss to Robin's mouth, and slid out of bed. Donning his oversized shirt, Starfire slipped out of his room. She'd wake him with breakfast in bed, she decided. Pancakes and bacon and eggs and coffee, all topped off with lots of maple syrup!  
  
It seemed like a simple plan, but somehow during the night she'd forgotten just how complex Robin's home was. She was lost within minutes. Retracing her steps didn't help her situation; in fact, it only made things worse as she soon found herself in a part of the mansion that she didn't recognize at all.  
  
"This is not good," she said out loud.  
  
Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted a moving shadow at the far end of the ornate hallway. Robin had said they were alone in the house. Was there an intruder? On silent feet, Starfire crept down the hall. Her wrists glowed green in preparation. No one was going to rob her boyfriend's home!  
  
As she approached the bend in the hallway, she saw the shadow again. Whoever it was, they were just around the corner. Taking a breath, Starfire made her move, throwing two starbolts in rapid succession.  
  
The mysterious intruder was nothing more than moving blur as it dodged her attack. Before she knew it, the shadow had taken form behind her and grabbed her around the throat. She managed to get out a loud scream before her air supply was cut off.  
  
"Robin!!"  
  
"What the hell?" Her attacker released her a second later; she choked for breath. "Are you all right?"  
  
Still coughing, Starfire looked up and caught her first good look at the intruder. He was handsome, older, but handsome, with dark hair and even darker features. "Can you talk?" he asked her.  
  
"I…I believe so," she rasped. "Who are…you?"  
  
Robin answered the question, racing into the hallway just then in nothing but a pair of shorts. He clutched a freeze disk in one hand. "Bruce!?"  
  
"Bruce?" Starfire asked.  
  
He dropped the disk and went to her side, checking her slender throat. "You can breathe?" She nodded. "What happened?"  
  
"I…I wanted to make you…breakfast."  
  
Bruce eyed his partner. "I take it you know this girl."  
  
"Of course I know her," Robin scowled at the older man. "And you'd recognize her if you'd bothered to look before you got her in headlock."  
  
"Starfire," Bruce said a second later. "My deepest apologies. I'm not used to being attacked in my own home."  
  
She allowed Robin to fold her up in his arms. "I thought you were a burglar."  
  
"I'm not." Bruce held out his hand. "Bruce Wayne."  
  
"He's…um…he was my guardian," Robin explained. "When I was younger."  
  
Starfire was in too much shock to put the pieces of the puzzle together. "I am very sorry to meet you like this."  
  
Bruce nodded. "As am I." He shot Robin a look. "Can I talk to you for a moment?"  
  
Reluctantly, Robin pried Starfire away from his shoulder. "I'll just be a moment. Follow the hallway down and take a right. At the bottom of the stairs, take a left and you'll be in the kitchen. I'll meet you there." He let her go with a kiss and watched until she was out of sight. Then, the full weight of his fury turned onto his mentor. "You could have killed her!"  
  
"She could have killed me. Those energy bolts weren't exactly friendly fire." Bruce crossed his arms over his broad chest. "We both apologized, so let's mark this up as getting off to the wrong foot, and nothing more, shall we? But before we abandon the subject altogether…" An amused smirk spread onto his stoic face. "Is this what you do when I'm out of town?"  
  
Robin was suddenly all too aware of his state of near undress…not to mention Starfire's. His cheeks colored. "It's a long story."  
  
Bruce very nearly laughed. "I should hope so. For her sake."  
  
"I'm not having this conversation with you."  
  
"Yes, you are. Were you careful?"  
  
Robin buried his face in his hands. "I don't believe this…"  
  
"It's very important that you…"  
  
"Stop!" He shook his head. "She's not human…it's not an issue!"  
  
"Are you certain? In my experience…"  
  
The younger man backed up, away from Bruce. "I so do not need to hear about your amorous adventures with alien women. I'm twenty-one years old; I'm not some dumb kid anymore."  
  
Bruce watched him with a fatherly eye. "No, you're not."  
  
"What are you doing back, anyway? Did Fiji get rained out?"  
  
"Actually, that's something we need to talk about. I'm afraid you'll have to cut your rendezvous short. There's trouble."  
  
Robin frowned. "Starfire's a Titan. She could join us." He gave him a defiant look. "She knows who I am."  
  
"But she doesn't know who I am. And I'd like to keep it that way."  
  
The faint sounds of Starfire singing in the kitchen floated in the air around them. Robin swallowed. "I can't just…thank her for a great night and tell her to go home." Bruce said nothing. "I trust her, Bruce. I…love her."  
  
"It's not too late to make a different choice, Dick," Bruce said. "Is this partnership what you really want? Or would you rather be part of a team again?"  
  
"I don't know what I want," Robin finally admitted. "I really don't."  
  
"You'll figure it out." Bruce checked his watch. "But try to do it as quickly as possible. We're needed elsewhere."  
  
"Yeah." Robin barely nodded at him as Bruce left, heading for his spacious private rooms. "Shit."  
  
By the time he made it to the kitchen, Starfire had already whipped up a big plate of scrambled eggs and doused it with so much syrup that the yellow pieces of egg swam in a sea of sticky maple. She looked up at him with a proud smile. "Come and eat, Robin!"  
  
"Star." He swallowed back a lump in his throat. "Last night was amazing. Thank you." Steeling himself, Robin continued, "Stay and have breakfast…but I've got to…" He stopped, blinking back hot tears. "I've gotta get going."  
  
"Robin?"  
  
But he was already halfway out the door and refused to look back. "I'm sorry. I'm just...really sorry."  
  
???????????????????????????????????????  
  
To be continued 


	8. End of the road

Disclaimer: Characters do not belong to me. But I love 'em anyway.  
  
Author's Notes: Sorry for the delay and I'm even more sorry that there will be another delay of about two or so weeks. I'm in a crunch spot at work. I apologize. But hang in there! Thanks for everything!

* * *

Flying Home 

by Kristen Elizabeth

* * *

"Starfire?" Balancing a tray in one hand, Aqualad knocked on her door. "Starfire…I brought you some dinner. Are you hungry yet?"  
  
There was no response. He tried again. "We're all going to watch a movie later. Feel up to it?"  
  
At the end of the hallway, Raven watched her teammate unsuccessfully coax the Tamaranian girl out of her seclusion. She'd locked herself in her room without a word for over a week, ever since her return from wherever she'd gone to find Robin, and a somber silence had settled over the entire Tower. Thankfully they'd only been called out as a group once, and just the four of them had been enough to apprehend the culprit with ease. Starfire was in no condition to do any sort of fighting.  
  
Raven shook her head. Their newest teammate was doing his best, but Starfire's misery was just too great. They could all feel it. The angst was palpable. Under other circumstances, she might have enjoyed the uncommon quiet. But not when her good friend was in such pain.  
  
Reluctantly giving up, Aqualad set the tray down to the side of Starfire's door. "Please eat," he said with a sigh. "We're all worried about you. I'm worried about you."  
  
He moved off a moment later and Raven stepped out of her hiding place in the shadows. It was time for an intervention. She picked up the abandoned tray of food and prepared herself.  
  
"Azarath, metrion, zinthos."  
  
Starfire was curled up on her circular bed, staring out her window at the dark city. Underneath her cheek, the bedspread was wet from her steady flow of tears. When Raven stepped through her locked bedroom door, she sat up, startled beyond belief.  
  
"It's just me," Raven assured her.  
  
"Friend Raven?" Her surprise melted into an uncharacteristic scowl. "I have never invaded upon your privacy. Why have you invaded upon mine?"  
  
"Because you need it." She walked to the bed and handed her the tray. "Starving yourself isn't going to accomplish anything, except making you sick and weak."  
  
Starfire sniffed. "I am not starving myself."  
  
"Oh? What do you call refusing to eat for a week?"  
  
She had no witty or sarcastic comeback. All Starfire did was drop her chin to her chest in shame. "I cannot imagine ever having an appetite again."  
  
Raven sat on the far end of the bed. "What happened with Robin?"  
  
"I will not talk about it." Starfire grabbed her pillow and curled herself around it, putting her back to the other girl. Suddenly, the pillow levitated and moved out of her grasp. With the sheer force of her mind, Raven dropped it on the floor, well out of range.  
  
Starfire snapped. "Why are you doing this to me? Are we not friends? Do friends not respect each other's wishes?"  
  
"We are friends. And I do respect your privacy...to a point. We've come to that point." Raven folded her arms. "You can't stay locked in here forever, wasting away. It's pointless. You're allowing your emotions to rule your actions, and nothing good can come out of that."  
  
"I am not you. My emotions cannot hurt others."  
  
There was a long pause. "That's true," Raven replied, a bit too evenly. "Actually, no. That's not true. Your emotions are hurting all of us. Or do you think we like seeing our friend like this?" She gestured to Starfire's disheveled state. "We are friends," she repeated. "And as such, I need to know what happened with Robin…so I can help you."  
  
"You want to help me?" Starfire's voice was tiny and unsure. Raven lifted one shoulder, her affirmative response. "I thank you. But I do not think there is anything that you can do…to help." She burst into fresh tears. "Robin does not want me in his life. Nothing can change that."  
  
Raven hesitated before she gingerly reached out and touched Starfire's shoulder. Finding this easier than she'd imagined, she awkwardly patted her friend. "Tell me what happened."

* * *

Millions of light years away, on a planet so newly colonized that it had yet to be named, Bruce Wayne lifted his head from his hands and checked the myriad of monitors spread out around him. Everything seemed all right…except nothing was all right.  
  
The burning scent of alcohol was making his eyes water, he'd told everyone who'd asked, refusing to admit anything else might be responsible. He'd experienced death and injury and the relentless silence of unconsciousness many times before. Why should it affect him now? Just because the person hanging off the edge of life happened to be the closest thing to a son that he'd ever had?  
  
Impossible.  
  
At least, that's what he kept telling himself.  
  
"Bruce?"  
  
He didn't turn around to see who it was; he knew already. "Come in."  
  
Wonder Woman, or just Diana, as she preferred to be called by her close friends, came up behind him and knelt down next to his chair. "How is he?"  
  
"No change."  
  
She looked at the young man hooked into so many machines, and lying so still. His skin was as pale as the starched white sheets; his hair, a shocking black against them both. She sighed and leaned her own dark head against Bruce's broad shoulder. "I'm so sorry."  
  
"I told him to wait," Bruce said, dully. "But he wouldn't. He just…took off after them. Like he wanted to take the risk. Like he didn't care anymore. I just don't understand."  
  
"Bruce, he's going to pull through this." She studied the caped crusader. Right then, he looked nothing like a dark vigilante. His face was that of a father, terrified for his son's life. "You brought him up; you trained him. He's a survivor."  
  
Bruce shook his head. "I should have made him go back to his own team. If he'd gone back, he wouldn't be here like this."  
  
"Are you going to blame yourself for every choice Robin makes?" she asked. "He's still very young. He's going to be making a lot more of them in the future, so you're looking at about five to ten more years of beating yourself up. Ballpark."  
  
"He has this warped sense of duty to me." He stood up and began pacing across the infirmary room. "But he doesn't owe me, Diana. If anything, I owe him!" She stood up, but stayed silent to let him continue. It was a rare thing for Bruce Wayne to open up to anyone.  
  
"He came into my life when I was perfectly content to lock myself up in my cave and forget about the rest of the world until I was called out. This little scrawny kid who had no one…he needed me. Not Batman, but me. He and Alfred kept me human."  
  
Diana cleared her throat delicately. "Have you ever told him this?"  
  
"I've tried." Bruce continued pacing. "He's set on repaying me for whatever it is he thinks I did for him, and nothing I say will change his mind. He's so goddamn stubborn!"  
  
"Gee, I wonder where he got that from?"  
  
He looked at her. "I have no idea." She coughed loudly, but then caught his eye and winked. Bruce stopped beside Robin's bed and looked down at his youthful partner. "He's a leader, not a sidekick. He belongs with his team. And I do better alone."  
  
"I don't know about that." Diana approached him from behind and slid her arms around his stomach. Resting her cheek on his back, she smiled to herself. "We worked pretty well together in Fiji."  
  
"That was different."  
  
"Not if you see sex as the ultimate partnership."  
  
Bruce pulled away from her. "This isn't the time or the place."  
  
"When is it ever the right time or place to talk with you about something emotional?" she sighed. "I'll let it go for now, but let's not forget that those Itrandian rebels are probably just regrouping for a new attack. Next time, it could be me knocked out by one of their blasters…me lying right where Robin is."  
  
He rounded on her, grabbing her slender shoulders with force that would have bruised a normal woman. "Don't even talk like that."  
  
"Well, what would you do if it was?"  
  
"I…" Bruce stopped. "I don't know," he finally admitted. "I don't even want to think about it.  
  
Looking up in his eyes, Diana relaxed her defenses. He was the most complicated of men, but for some reason, she was drawn to him. And when he looked at her with such raw emotion, emotion that he might never be able to vocalize, but was always there, her inner Amazon melted.  
  
"Bruce, when he wakes up, tell him everything. Make him go back to the life he wants." She reached up and cupped his face, rugged with three days of stubble. "You won't slip back into your cave. I won't let you."  
  
His forehead dropped to her collar and she could have sworn she felt the warmth of a stray tear.  
  
'Alcohol stinging his eyes, my ass,' she thought, triumphantly.

* * *

"So she left," Raven concluded her retelling of Starfire's story. "What else could she do?"  
  
Beast Boy shook his head. "Man, what is Robin's deal?" He looked at the other two Titans gathered around Raven. "I think I speak for any decent guy when I say, you just don't do that to a girl. Especially not after…um…" A faint blush colored his already oddly colored cheeks. "…you know. Right?"  
  
"For once, I gotta agree with BB," Cyborg said. "Robin's really losing it."  
  
"He's gone too far." Pressing the tips of his fingers together so hard that they turned white, Aqualad's tone was dark. "He's hurt her one too many times. The next time I see that bastard…"  
  
Raven arched one eyebrow at him. "Starfire doesn't need a knight in shining armor."  
  
"What does she need?" Beast Boy asked. "Whatever it is, we'll do it for her."  
  
"In a heartbeat," Aqualad added.  
  
"She needs…" Raven began.  
  
"To go back to Tamaran," Starfire finished, entering the spacious common room and startling them all. She didn't appear to mind that they'd been talking about her personal life, if she'd even taken note of their conversation. Her eyes were glassy, but her resolve was firm.  
  
"I want to go home."

* * *

To Be Continued  
  
A/N: Hehehe...been watching too much Justice League Unlimited. I loves me some Batman and Wonder Woman;)


	9. Where does my heart beat now?

Disclaimer: Characters do not belong to me.  
  
Author's Notes: My apologies for the delay. I hope ya'll enjoy, and thank you so much for all the kind reviews;)

* * *

Flying Home

by Kristen Elizabeth

* * *

"This is Princess Starfire requesting permission to land."  
  
A man's voice replied to her request through her headset. "Permission granted. Welcome home, Princess."  
  
Home. With numb fingers, Starfire prepped the shuttle for landing. It had only taken Cyborg a week to refit one of the five parts of the T-ship to take her across the galaxies, but during that week, she'd thought a lot about homes. What made a home? Was it where you were born, where your people lived? Or was it like Earth books and movies said, where the heart was?  
  
Or what if both were true? Then, she supposed, she might have two homes.  
  
But either way, Tamaran had been her home long before Earth was, and it was to Tamaran's comforting arms that she returned, older, less innocent, and nursing a wounded spirit.  
  
She made a smooth landing, thanks to Cyborg's excellent mechanical skills. Starfire blinked back tears upon thinking of her friend. If she started, she'd never stop. Although she missed them already, she had to do this. She had to get better, get stronger, get over him. Only then could she ever return to her second home. To her dear friends.  
  
"Robin," Starfire whispered, allowing herself one final thought of him before she steeled herself and stepped foot on her beloved planet.  
  
A small welcoming party had gathered on the palace's wide landing strip to greet her, but she only made eye contact with one of them.  
  
Galfore reached her before she even took two steps forward. Instead of yelling or tickling or any of their usual greetings, the Grand Ruler of Tamaran gathered her slender little body against his massive bulk.  
  
"What has happened?" he asked, his voice rumbling.  
  
Starfire let herself break down into tears, knowing that here, in the arms of her beloved "nanny," she didn't have to be strong.  
  
"I had to get away from him," she sobbed. "He hurt my heart."

* * *

"Did we do the right thing?"  
  
Hearing that, especially in such a genuinely confused manner, from Raven boggled Beast Boy's mind. He quickly recovered when she turned away from the window and looked at him. "Should we have let her go?" she asked.  
  
After pausing his game, he replied, "Yeah. I think so. It's what she wanted. Or needed. Whatever." He let out a sigh. "I miss her already."  
  
Raven didn't need to echo the sentiment; he already knew she felt the same. The way she'd been drifting around the Tower like a misplaced ghost ever since Starfire's departure was evidence enough that the girl who tried so hard to be emotionless was grieving the loss of her friend.  
  
"Raven," Beast Boy started, tentatively. "You know…my shoulder's pretty good to cry on. Many a girl has shed a tear here." He raised it in offering. "If you need to…"  
  
She cut him off. "I don't cry."  
  
He lowered his shoulder. A frown darkened his brow. "Yeah, well…maybe you should!" Getting a reaction out of her, although it was just her eyebrows arching in slight surprise, fueled him on. "I know you think you've got to be little Miss Goth to keep your powers in check, but would it kill you to have a human reaction once in awhile? You're strong, Raven, you're really, really strong! I think you could handle it better than you think you could!"  
  
"Since when did I ask you to do my thinking for me?" she shot back. "You have no idea how much I struggle every single day to keep from blasting us all into oblivion!"  
  
"What are you fighting so hard against?" Beast Boy demanded. He crossed his arms over his chest. "Well? C'mon? I'm waiting! Tell me what around here could possibly work your emotions up to that point? Is it me and Cyborg fighting? Is it Aqualad tracking water up and down the hallways? Is it…"  
  
"You!" Raven shouted. The floor shook a bit, but when she opened her eyes again, she could see that nothing had exploded. He was staring at her, his laughing eyes wide and shocked. Shocked into silence. She should have tried this years ago. Taking a breath, Raven added a quiet, "It's you."  
  
"Me?" he squeaked. After coughing, his voice dropped back down to its proper pitch. "What did I do?"  
  
"It's nothing you've done. It's just you." Inside, a little voice screamed at her to stop, but she ignored it. "I…care about you. I try not to, but I can't make myself stop." He opened his mouth; she cut him off once more. "Don't ask me for anything beyond that right now. I need more time."  
  
Beast Boy blinked rapidly as he collected the scattered pieces of the reality where Raven hated him and he'd never even be able to make her smile. Knowing that she cared about him, perhaps even deeply, was unexpected. To say the least.  
  
Finally, he nodded. "Okay. Sure. I mean…" Scratching the back of his head, he tried to chuckle. "I'm not going anywhere."  
  
"Promise?"  
  
His arm lowered and he nodded again, this time much more solemnly. "I promise."  
  
With one final look, Raven left the room, her cape brushing the floor and giving her the appearance of floating. As soon as she was gone, Beast Boy fell back onto the couch with a huge grin.  
  
"I knew she wanted me!!"

* * *

"It's about time you decided to wake up."  
  
Bruce's face was blurry, but still recognizable. Robin closed his eyes and opened them again, hoping to clear his vision. "What's going on?" he asked. Was that his voice? It was so dry, like he hadn't spoken in a long time. "Where am I?"  
  
"Take it easy." His mentor kept him down with a firm hand to his chest. "You're at the Manor. You've been in a coma for over a month." Bruce paused and when he spoke again, his words seemed heavy and forced. "My doctors weren't sure you were going to get up again."  
  
Robin remembered it all then. The mission, to stop an alien race from enacting genocide on their neighboring planet. The battle with the entire Justice League. The attack. The pain. The darkness.  
  
The dreams. Dreams of her. There had been wonderful ones where they never left his bed, making love for hours, perhaps even days. But then there had also been horrible ones that he couldn't seem to wake up from. Dreams where she was ripped apart by his enemies, made to suffer for his actions.  
  
"Starfire," he said out loud.  
  
"What about her?" Bruce asked.  
  
"My head hurts," Robin said, ignoring the question as he regained control over himself. "How bad was I hit?"  
  
The older man gave him a look. "I repeat. You've been in a coma for a month." He straightened up, still staring down at his partner. "What on earth possessed you to go off like you did? Without back-up? You could have been killed! You practically were; you just got very lucky. What if you hadn't been? Did you think about any of this before you rushed off to play the hero?" Bruce's eyes narrowed. "Did you think about her?"  
  
"Can you just leave me alone?" He rubbed his aching forehead. Upon finding bandages there, he delicately explored them with the tips of his fingers. "I'm grateful for everything, but you're not my father, Bruce."  
  
"No. But I am your partner. And I am responsible for your safety. If you don't want to answer to anyone for your actions, you should work alone." Bruce snorted. "What am I saying? You'd never last a day on your own. You'd charge into something headfirst and get killed on your first night."  
  
Robin was too tired to argue. "Whatever, man." Closing his eyes, he turned his head away.  
  
Bruce knew enough to know a dismissal when he saw it, although it was entirely foreign to him to be on the receiving end of one. Mystified, he backed out of Robin's room and straight into Diana as she was entering.  
  
Catching sight of his befuddled look, so adorable on a man who never lost his cool, she closed the door and pulled him further down the hallway. "He's awake?! Did he say anything?"  
  
"I'm not sure."  
  
"What do you mean?" she prodded him.  
  
"Just that. We didn't really say anything important. I told him what happened to him and he…"  
  
"Oh Bruce." Her sapphire eyes looked up at him with disappointment. "You didn't scold him, did you?"  
  
"Scold? Is it scolding to point out that his dangerous and thoughtless actions are what landed him in a coma for…"  
  
She gave his arm what might have been a light punch to her. He winced in pain. "Great going. The idea was to get him to open up, not alienate him by jumping on his case the moment he opened his eyes!"  
  
He scowled. "I've known that kid most of his life; if anyone has the right to jump on his case, it's me. He needs to learn that he can't do everything on his own."  
  
"Because it's a lesson you've certainly taken to heart!"  
  
Bruce stared at her. "When did this become an argument?"  
  
"When you decided to be a stubborn ass of a man!" Diana turned on her heel and stalked back to Robin's door.  
  
"What are you doing? He needs rest."  
  
She paused with her hand on the doorknob. "No, Bruce. What he needs is someone to listen to him, and to really hear him. He needs someone to help him figure his life out, because although he's not a kid anymore, he still needs a little guidance. What he doesn't need is a lecture about everything he did wrong. I'm sure once he looks under his bandages, he'll feel properly chastised."  
  
Bruce was behind her in a second, flattening his hand over hers on the brass knob. His entire body surrounded her, weakening her temporary flare of anger. This was what interacting with men got you, she could almost hear her mother saying. Letting one into your bed, fine. Letting one into your heart, though, only lead to trouble.  
  
"You might be right," he murmured into the inky depths of her hair.  
  
"Might be?"  
  
"He doesn't need a babysitter."  
  
"So." Her eyes closed as his lips found the sensitive nape of her neck. "What are you going to say to him?"  
  
"I'm not." Seizing her shoulders, Bruce turned her around. "We are."  
  
"We?" He'd wedged his knee between her legs, slowly stroking her passion from a spark into a forest fire. "What's this 'we' you speak of? Did we become a 'we' when I wasn't looking?"  
  
Bruce locked stares with her as he pressed more of his body into her curves. "We've been a 'we' for much longer than I'd like to admit, Diana." His mouth moved to her ear. "We'll talk to him. Get him straightened out."  
  
"Now?" Her fingers dug into his muscled arms. "This isn't exactly putting me in the right frame of mind to talk to Robin."  
  
"Well, he is resting." He wrapped one arm around her waist and lifted her up. "We probably shouldn't disturb him."  
  
Diana grasped his face between her hands, burning him with her heat. "No. We'll disturb him…later."  
  
But Robin was already disturbed. When he tried to sleep, all he could see was Starfire's smile, all he could hear was his name on her sweet lips. He woke up again to the darkness of night, and lay in his bed, sweating and panting for breath.  
  
"Starfire."  
  
He had to see her again. He had to tell her everything.  
  
He'd almost died without letting himself really live. And it was time to make a change.

* * *

To Be Continued 


	10. Someone else's star

Disclaimer: Characters within do not belong to me. 

Author's Notes: Sorry for the extreme delay. Life has a way of getting crazy hectic every now and then. I must admit though, you have a woman named Loyce to thank for this update. She made me a CD and she's holding it hostage until I delivered this chapter. I need my tunes. So, enjoy, and thanks ever so much for all the terrific feedback!

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Flying Home

by Kristen Elizabeth

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She hadn't allowed herself to take any pictures of Robin with her to Tamaran. So when she woke in the mornings, wanting one brief glimpse of his face, she had no choice but to get up and start her day. Starfire was confident that, with time, the desire to see him would fade.

The problem was, she'd been on Tamaran for over a month, and it wasn't fading. If anything, it was getting stronger. She couldn't just get up anymore. It took so much more effort to get through each day because thoughts of him plagued her.

If she made up her bed instead of leaving it to a servant, all she could think about was his bed and how they'd laid in the rumpled sheets, side by side, catching their breath. If she tried to make her own breakfast, she would remember him breaking up fights between Cyborg and Beast Boy over the merits of an all-soy meal. She couldn't eat, she couldn't train, she couldn't stop herself from thinking about Robin.

Galfore understood this, and tolerated it up until a point. When he found her one day, leaning over her balcony's railing, sobbing, he could stay silent no longer.

"My little one," he called out to her. "It is time you told me what causes your tears."

Starfire straightened up and wiped her cheeks quickly. "I can only say what I have said before. My heart hurts. It hurts so very much."

"Please do not make me command you, Princess."

She turned to see him, the Grand Ruler whom she herself had appointed. What would he say when he heard of her intimate relations with Robin? It was not shameful, but it was uncharacteristic of a properly raised Tamaranian girl to give into physical desires without at least a promise of marriage from her partner.

Starfire decided to tell him. Only then could he possibly understand how deep her wounds ran. She recounted Robin's departure from the Tower, the months of separation, his sudden reappearance, and their one night of bliss in a matter-of-fact tone that bore no trace of guilt. When she was done, she waited for Galfore to speak.

"I am surprised, yet I am not," her childhood guardian finally said. "I suspected the boy's attraction to you from the moment I laid eyes upon him." His hands curled into massive fists. "But to dismiss a Princess of Tamaran in such a manner, especially after he has…" His towering frame shook with anger. "I shall have the warships prepared. Upon your word, I shall order them towards Earth and this…manor of his."

"I could not bear it if Robin were hurt. Prepare no ships, please." Starfire pressed a hand to her chest. "These wounds will heal with time."

"My brave little one." Galfore's fists relaxed and he drew her into them. "Do not despair. You are home; here, your heart will never be hurt again."

_I will see to it,_ he swore._ It is simply a matter of finding the right man of Tamaranian blood to erase all thoughts of this human from her mind forever._

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"Knock, knock?"

Robin barely looked up as Diana entered without invitation. He could feel her ice-blue eyes watching him, and when he could take it no longer, he sighed.

"Spill it. Whatever it is."

Most men wouldn't even consider snapping at Wonder Woman, but Robin wasn't intimidated by her, and that pleased Diana. He had a backbone, a strong one. He would need it to fix all of his mistakes.

"Actually, I only wanted to talk to you." She sauntered into his room and took a seat on his bed. Crossing her long legs, Diana studied him carefully. "What's your plan?"

"Plan." He balled up a long-sleeved shirt and tossed it onto the little mountain of clothes building up in his suitcase. "I'm not going on so much of a plan as a mission."

"So, what's your mission?"

With a good deal of effort, Robin zipped up the suitcase. "Get her back."

"Simple as that?" Diana mused, arching one perfect eyebrow. "I'm sure she'll be bowled over by your romantic gesture. What woman wouldn't be?"

He paused, frowning. "What are you getting at?"

"Did it occur to you that she might not be all that inclined to forgive you just because you want her to?" She examined a nail. "You might have to put some effort into it. And that could be anything from buying her flowers to begging for forgiveness."

"You don't know Starfire," Robin said. "She's not like that."

"Really." There was a pause. "What is she like?"

The young man blew out a breath. "She's like…no one."

"Well, that certainly paints a picture for me."

"She's beautiful, all right?" He ran his hand through his hair. "She always sees the bright side of everything. She'd give up her own life to save her enemy. She eats weird things and says weird things and it doesn't matter because she makes everyone around her happier. She…" Robin swallowed. "She's perfect."

"And you love her."

"I…" He closed his eyes and nodded. "Yeah. I love her."

Diana smiled to herself. "So why did you run away and try to get yourself killed?"

"It's stupid," Robin muttered.

"Of course it is, but if you don't admit why you ran, you might do it again."

When he scowled after being backed into a corner by simple logic, he looked so much like Bruce, Diana thought. How often had she seen that look on her lover's face? Like surrogate father, like son…

"Look," he began. "You might not know this, but people who love me have a tendency to…well…die."

"Robin, what happened to your family was…"

"Not my fault. Yeah, I get that. But they're still dead."

Diana sighed softly. "Putting one's heart on the line isn't easy for anyone, but somehow it's even harder for people like us. Danger is such real part of our lives. If you didn't have these fears, then I'd worry for you."

His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed a heavy lump in his throat. "I was so afraid of losing her that I used every excuse I could come up with to push her away." He slumped down onto the bed. "And I ended up losing her. Irony sucks."

"This would be where a plan would come in handy. I'm not saying you have to light up the sky with fireworks that spell out her name, but this situation definitely calls for a romantic gesture on a grand-ish scale."

Robin shot her a look. "What did Bruce do?" She blinked; he'd caught her off guard. "He must have done something big for you. What was it?"

She contemplated her answer for a long moment, finally deciding to answer truthfully. Robin was family to Bruce. "He let me hold him while he cried."

"He loves you."

Diana wiped away the beginnings of a tear and nodded. Clearing her throat, she brought the subject back to him. "If you want, I'll help you find your romantic gesture."

"Really? You'd do that for me?" She nodded again. "But if I can't come up with something for her, how will you…"

"Dick," she interrupted him with a sultry wink. "I was raised on an island inhabited only by women. If I can't find a way to endear you to your Starfire, I forfeit my entire name."

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It was quiet in Titan Tower.

Too, too quiet.

Raven entered the common area with her favorite book, a battered copy of "Frankenstein," and stopped short. The lack of activity, noise or even one of her teammates lounging about had her completely stumped. Was it possible that, for the first time in memory, she might have the room to herself?

Taking careful steps, as though she might break whatever spell had settled over the Tower, she made her way to the circular couch. She sat just as gingerly and waited a moment before tucking her legs up underneath her. When she was settled and there was still no hint of any movement around her, Raven allowed herself to relax into the cushions. After pausing a moment to appreciate the beautiful sight of the twinkling bay waters as the sun prepared to set on the horizon, she tore her eyes away from the wall of windows and opened her book.

"Raven! There you are!"

His voice shattered her peace, and her peace of mind. Raven closed her eyes and gave herself a second to regain her steady breath. By the time she had succeeded, Beast Boy had come around the couch and stood in front of her, blocking the view with his recently developed body.

"Whatcha up to?" he asked.

"I'm trying to think of a hiding place for a body that would never be discovered," Raven replied, narrowing her eyes.

He didn't seem to notice that her death stare was aimed straight at him. "Yeah, good luck with that. Look…we gotta talk."

"About what exactly?" It was a struggle to keep her voice neutral. She knew what he wanted to talk about; it was written all over his unconventionally attractive face.

"You know what."

"And you know that I still need time."

Beast Boy folded his arms over his chest. "And I'd be totally willing to give you as much as you needed…if you weren't just using time as a lame excuse." Before she could lash back, he went on. "I gotta push this, Raven. 'Cause you won't. And I'm afraid you'll waste so much of the time we've got that we'll never get any of it together."

Seething, but struck by his simple honesty, all Raven could do was close up her book and set it aside.

"I don't care if you get mad at me or refuse to speak to me or whatever. I can deal with that." He dared to sit next to her, but was smart enough to put a few feet of couch between them. "I like you, Raven. And I just want to make you happy."

"I don't do happy…" She lowered her gaze. "…very well."

"You could give it a shot."

"And if it didn't work?" Her head snapped up, her eyes blazing with too much repressed emotion. "If you were hurt by a happy feeling I couldn't control?"

Beast Boy shrugged one shoulder. "Couldn't hurt anymore than being around you all day, every day, but not being able to really be with you."

"Are you some sort of masochist?" Raven blurted out as she jumped to her feet. "Don't you get it? I'm dangerous! I'm not a good girl to fall for. You'll get hurt and I'll hate myself for hurting you and everyone will hate me for hurting you and you'll learn to hate me because…I'm not…" She stopped, shaking her head back and forth so hard that silky stands of dark purple hair clung to her lips. He stood and reached for her, but before he could touch her, she continued. "I'm not loveable!" Raven pushed away his hands. "I'm not even likeable! Why? Why do you like me? Tell me! Why?!"

She put up a good fight, but he managed to grab her wrists, forcing her to look up at him. "There's no answer to that. I just do." Beast Boy released her and cupped her face in his warm, green palms. "Just so you're ready, I'm gonna kiss you now."

Raven nodded, her eyes already closing, waiting for the warmth of his mouth on hers.

"Starfire!"

Beast Boy wasn't given to murderous thoughts, but when Robin ran into the room, he had a couple of very good ideas of how he might rid the world of the Boy Wonder. The former Titan had a frantic look on his face and carried a bouquet of the ugliest flowers he'd ever seen. They looked like something he'd seen on Tamaran the time they'd traveled there for Starfire's arranged and subsequently aborted marriage.

Robin screeched to a halt and stared at them, or more specifically the sight of them in a very intimate pose. "Hey, guys. Um…what's up?"

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"Princess Starfire?"

As she stared at her reflection in the dressing table's mirror, Starfire took note of the young servant girl. "Yes?"

"Princess, His Excellency, the Grand Ruler, requests your company at dinner tonight. And he asks that you wear this." From behind her back, the girl produced a beautiful dress of emerald green that would set off her eyes and hair to perfection.

Starfire frowned. "I will dine with Galfore, but why should he want me to dress in such formal wear?"

"I do not know, Princess." The girl stepped forward. "Should I return the garment?"

"No. If it is his wish, I shall wear it." She looked back at the mirror. A broken vision of herself stared back at her. "I have avoided the court for too long." Starfire stood and took the dress with a sad smile. "Nothing can hurt me here."

Some time later, Starfire regretted those words. As she entered the great hall where all formal meals were taken, she was announced as the Princess of Tamaran, but it was a title to which she no longer belonged. People bowed when she walked by them to her seat at Galfore's right hand, but she couldn't bring herself to acknowledge them. They were bowing to what she had once been, but would never be again.

She sat, but it took her a moment to look across the table at the man who would be her dinner partner. He was good-looking, tall and strapping with black hair that reminded her too much of her sister. He wore the breast plate of a Tamaranian warrior and a cocky smile as he stared right back at her.

Uncomfortable under his penetrating leer, Starfire glanced at Galfore. "Thank you for the garment. It is glorious."

"Ah, but it pales in comparison to you, my little one." He hesitated as though he intended to go on. Finally, after catching onto her puzzled look, he coughed a bit too loudly. "Maybe you wonder who sits at my other side." Galfore clapped a hand onto the stranger's broad shoulder. "Princess Starfire, it is my pleasure and honor to introduce you to Captain Tal."

"Captain," she nodded at him.

The man in question bowed his head. "Princess, I have heard stories of your beauty, but never did I imagine how true they would be when I made my proposal. I shall be the most fortunate man on…"

"Proposal?" Starfire turned to Galfore. "Oldest of all friends and companions…please tell me of what he speaks."

"It was not meant to be revealed like this," Galfore grumbled. "But there's no help for it now. Princess, as Grand Ruler of Tamaran, appointed by your own decree, I have chosen a husband for you." He raised his huge silver goblet. "To a short engagement and a long, happy marriage."

The rest of the court followed his lead. "To the Princess and the Captain!"

The news caught up to Starfire several minutes later as her new fiancée filled her cup full of Skarlblatt wine, the traditional drink of the newly engaged. If she sipped, she would be accepting the arrangement. She would be accepting Tal as her intended.

And she would be forever giving up Robin.

She raised the goblet to her lips and tipped it back just far enough to wet her the tip of her tongue with the tart liquid. To the eager observers, it appeared as though she had drunk and a cheer went up around the table.

Dinner arrived and was devoured, but Starfire couldn't eat. She could still taste the wine on her lips. It was the taste of betrayal.

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To Be Continued


	11. Mama said knock you out

Disclaimer: Characters within do not belong to me.

Author's Notes: An unforgivable amount of time has passed since I updated this story. But I have a good excuse! My computer was sick for a long time, and I wasn't able to access my story files. Anyways, here's a new chapter for you. It's short, but hopefully worth the wait. More will come soon;) Thanks for sticking with me! Ya'll are great.

* * *

Flying Home

by Kristen Elizabeth

* * *

"What do you mean she left?"

Raven and Beast Boy exchanged a look, each begging the other to field Robin's frantic question.

"They mean she left." Aqualad entered just then, saving them both. It might have been Beast Boy's imagination, but the sky outside the Tower suddenly seemed much darker. There was bad air all around them and a storm was definitely brewing. "She took a one-way trip to Tamaran nearly two months ago."

"Two months…" Robin swallowed heavily. "You're joking."

"Yes, I'm funny like that," Aqualad shot back. "It's no joke, Robin. Starfire's gone." He paused. "And it's your fault. You incredible bastard."

"Hey, woah." Beast Boy made a "T" out of his hands. "Time out, guys."

Robin ignored him. "You have no idea what happened between us," he informed the taller youth.

"I know you used her. Every part of her, especially her heart. Then you tossed her away like she meant nothing!"

"That's not what I did!"

Raven crossed her arms. "It's not?"

"You of all people should understand, Raven." Robin plunged his hands into his hair. "I got scared and I made some mistakes. But I want to fix them now."

Aqualad snorted. "And you think it'll be as easy as that? You weren't here, Robin. You didn't watch her suffering. I did. Where were you? Jetting around the galaxy with Batman?"

"I'm sure you just loved it, didn't you? My mistake was your opportunity." Robin's fists balled up. "How long were you here before you started putting the moves on Starfire? Five minutes? Or did you give it an entire hour?"

Beast Boy situated himself between his fellow Titans. "We're on the same team, guys. Remember that."

"He's not," Aqualad said. "Right, Robin?"

"I'm not going to fight with you," Robin replied, but his teeth were tightly clenched together as he spoke. "All I want is to get Starfire home."

"What if she is home?" Raven's stare was so hard Robin felt she could almost see through his mask. "We didn't encourage her to leave; it was her choice. The few communications we've received from her have indicated that she's happy. She's home."

He shook his head. "Star…she loves Earth. She left because of me. I hurt her and that's my burden to bear. But I will fix things. I have to."

"You think that if you just snap your fingers, she'll race right back here to be used all over again? You really are that much of an arrogant ass, aren't you?"

"You need to shut up about things that are none of your business," Robin informed Aqualad, dangerously.

But the other Titan refused to back down. "Or you'll do what?"

It was the wrong thing to say. A low growl erupted from the back of Robin's throat. His hand shot to his utility belt. Aqualad was instantly on guard, which was fortunate because in the space of a single moment, Robin pelted him with one explosive disk after another.

He dodged each of them and raised his hands. Behind him, the wall burst open as the water pipes broke, flooding the room. With a flick of Aqualad's wrists, the water formed a swirling cyclone heading straight for Robin.

A rappelling rope shot from Robin's belt, lifting him off the ground before the water hit. He armed himself with a freeze disk and flung it at his opponent, turning the area around him into ice. Aqualad was stuck, unable to move.

"Stop!" Beast Boy's roar was more animal than man. Morphing into an octopus, he plucked Robin from his hanging position with one slimy tentacle and dragged him down to the ground. He changed back just as quickly. "You, stay out of the air. You…" He looked at Aqualad. "Just chill."

"Don't get in the middle of this," Robin snapped.

"You don't get to give me orders anymore," Beast Boy snapped right back. "You gave up that right when you turned in your leader jacket at the door. So unless you want to fight me, too, you'll shut up and listen."

Raven blinked. "Beast Boy…"

"Robin, you did a really shitty thing to Starfire, and she didn't deserve it. You've got a lot to make right, but you'll probably pull it off, 'cause guess what? She loves you. She always has. And Starfire can forgive anyone. She's more human sometimes than the rest of us."

He took a breath and directed his comments towards the Titan on ice. "And you…you stepped up and filled a spot on the team when we needed it and we're all grateful. But you can't take Robin's place in Starfire's heart. Get it? They love each other and they've got stuff to figure out and you don't need to mess with it. If she needed a champion, she wouldn't be a Titan."

To their credit, both men looked completely chastised.

"Now." Beast Boy transformed into a massive gorilla and brought his fists down on the ice block encasing most of Aqualad's body. The ice cracked, releasing him. "Shake hands. We've got enough enemies without making 'em out of each other."

Still glaring at each other, but with much less deadly intentions, Robin and Aqualad clasped hands in a quick, stiff shake.

Beast Boy folded his arms in satisfaction. "Isn't that better? I swear I…"

"Hey y'all!" Cyborg burst into the living room, his heavy footsteps shaking the very foundation. He stopped short. "Robin." His good eye narrowed. "Long time."

"No see," Robin filled in.

Cyborg turned to Beast Boy. "Just got a message from Starfire."

"Starfire?"

He directed a cool look towards their former leader. "Yeah, remember her? Red hair, green eyes, killer bod, talks kinda funny…"

Before Robin could explode again, Beast Boy cut him off. "What did she say?"

Cyborg's frown grew even deeper. "She said…" He glanced at Robin.

"Just say it," the Boy Wonder grimaced.

"She said she's not coming back." He paused. "She's getting married."

For a long time, no one could speak. No one could even move. Finally, Raven took the initiative. "She's been engaged before. Against her will."

Beast Boy snuck a look at Robin. "But that dude's in charge now. Her nanny…he'd never push her into marrying some…"

Without waiting to hear the rest, Robin turned on his heel and stalked out of the room. The doors slid shut behind him.

"Where's he goin'?"

"One guess," Aqualad answered Cyborg's question. "If anyone needs me, I'll be in my room." He left much in the same manner as Robin, only in the opposite direction.

"He better not be touchin' my babies!" Cyborg ran after to Robin to protect the remaining parts of the T-wing.

Beast Boy let out a pent-up breath. "Thought Robin was gonna bust something. Guy's not careful he'll give himself a stroke, you know." Raven said nothing. "Hope it all turns out okay," he went on. "Somebody around here oughta be with the person they…"

As Raven approached him, his words trailed off. They stood nose to nose, so close that he could smell the clean scent of her shampoo. She was intoxicating. "Um…hi," he whispered.

She smiled. It was faint and brief, but she smiled. But what she did next truly shocked him. Raven closed her eyes and touched her lips to his. It took a moment for him to register the fact that they were kissing…she was kissing him! Her mouth was surprisingly warm, he vaguely thought. Hesitant at first, but with growing confidence, he kissed her back.

Raven pulled away before he was entirely ready to let her go. "You can call yourself whatever you want, but you're quite a man."

She left him, stunned into happy silence.

* * *

When she stopped and considered that she was getting married the next day, it was all Starfire could do to keep from crying.

This wasn't how it was supposed to be. Twice now she'd stood in front of the mirror in the royal dressing chamber wearing a gorgeous creation of white silk and a crown of pure silver, the perfect picture of a bride, but feeling none of the joy associated with the title. She supposed it wasn't in her destiny to make a happy marriage. At least this time the very sight of her betrothed didn't repulse her. That was something…wasn't it?

With a sigh, Starfire plucked the crown off her brow and set it aside. She would have preferred a veil of delicate tulle, like the pictures in the magazines back on Earth. Oh, how many times she had put herself into those images, the happy bride standing next to her equally happy groom. Her masked groom…

"No!" she yelled at her reflection. "I will not think of Robin anymore."

It was an empty resolution, and one that she had often made recently, more so as the date of the wedding drew near. In her dreams, he appeared before the ceremony, whisked her away from Tamaran, away from all of their duties and obligations, and asked her to be his partner, not in crime-fighting, but in life.

Ridiculous fantasies.

She changed out of her wedding dress and back into her purple uniform. After she was married, she would never again wear the outfit, she vowed. It would be part of her past, part of her life on Earth. A life that would never be hers again.

* * *

To Be Continued 


	12. This I promise you

Disclaimer: Characters contained within do not belong to me. 

Author's Notes: A thousand apologies wouldn't be enough to make up for almost a year without updates. I am so sorry. My only defense is that you can't write without inspiration. And although all of your reviews and encouragements have been wonderful, the spark that inspired this chapter didn't hit me until today. I am very sorry. But the next chapter is already underway, so I will go ahead and promise that another year will not slip by before I update again! Thank you for sticking with me. I very much hope you find it worth your time:)

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Flying Home

by Kristen Elizabeth

* * *

Robin pushed the T-wing hard, certainly harder than Cyborg would have approved. He could almost hear his mechanical friend screaming "lay off the metal, man!" every time he upped the acceleration. But he couldn't stop. Each second that passed was one second closer to losing Starfire forever.

The mere thought had him pushing the spacecraft even harder.

It seemed as though it took forever, but eventually Tamaran appeared in the distance, a brightly colored spot in the emptiness of space. An invisible fist squeezed his heart.

"Please…" he heard himself whisper out loud. "Please don't let me be too late."

A static-laced voice over the T-wings communicator eventually jarred him out of his prayer. He blinked as he realized how far he'd traveled. Tamaran now lay in front of him, as beautiful as its princess.

"Unidentified space ship," the voice addressed him. "You have entered Tamaranian space. Please identify yourself, state your business and stand-by for further instructions."

Robin cleared his throat. "I'm Robin of the Teen Titans of Earth." He paused. "I'm here to see Princess Starfire."

Several long minutes passed before the voice replied, "Robin of the Teen Titans of Earth…turn your ship around. You are not welcome on Tamaran."

His heart sank down around his knees. Robin sat back in the pilot's seat and wiped cold sweat off his forehead. "I can't do that," he told the voice. "I need to see her."

"Robin of the Teen Titans of Earth, if you do not leave Tamaranian space, we shall be forced to take actions to remove you. This is your two minute warning."

The echo of Starfire's laughter came to him just then. Closing his eyes, he could see her smile, the last one she'd given him in his bed at Wayne Manor. Robin gripped the ship's controls, his knuckles white.

If he had to fight her own people for her, he would. He just hoped she could forgive him this one more thing.

* * *

Veils weren't a traditional part of her people's bridal ensemble, but Starfire had come to love them on Earth. She could still remember the first time she'd seen one, in a daytime opera of soap when she was first learning about the strange planet on which she'd decided to make her new home. She'd instantly adored the soft lace covering the TV bride's face, and the way in which her intended had lifted it to reveal her teary eyes. It had almost been too much romantic stimulation for her inexperienced heart.

She'd wanted one on her wedding day. And she'd wanted Robin to lift it and see her eyes overflowing.

But the veil now separated her from Captain Tal. And her eyes were dry.

Galfore was speaking the words of the marriage ceremony, as Grand Ruler. She wanted to be as happy as he was about the union. It would be very easy to love her betrothed. Unlike the green glob of goo to whom Blackfire had tried to have her married once upon a time, Tal was an ideal match. What Raven would have called a "hottie."

Through the lace, she could see that he was smiling, too. In fact, she seemed to be the only person in Great Hall who wasn't overjoyed on her wedding day.

"Princess," Galfore addressed her. "Do you take this young Captain to be your husband, from now until the Great Ones call you home?"

She opened her mouth, but no sounds would come out.

"Starfire!"

Her was the last head to turn to the back of the hall. She didn't have to look to see who it was interrupting her wedding. But she did have to pinch her arm to make sure she hadn't slipped into a daydream.

The lacy web of her veil couldn't hide the fact that his uniform was ripped and scorched and blood dripped down his face from a cut above his eye. He looked as though he had just fought for his life. He bent over slightly, resting his hands on his knees, as he called her name again.

He was there. He'd come for her.

Before Starfire could make herself speak, Robin was surrounded by palace guards, all with their weapons drawn, prepared to take down the intruder.

Robin stood in the middle of the dangerous circle, his chest heaving with spent effort. He drew himself upright and her heart skipped a beat. He was brave as always. Even in the face of such odds.

Behind her, Galfore roared in protest, "Remove him at once! This Earthling dares to interfere with our Princess's marriage! He shall pay with his…"

"No!"

Starfire's scream startled herself most of all. The flowers she'd been holding landed on the steps; she gathered her long, white skirt in one hand and ran down the aisle towards the circle of guards.

"Lower your weapons!" she commanded.

Her word was still to be obeyed; the weapons were lowered and one guard stepped aside to let her in.

Starfire's hands shook as she ripped the veil away. "Robin, are you in pain?"

"No." He smiled through the blood. "Not anymore."

"I am glad." A second passed before Starfire slapped him across the face. Robin stared at her, one hand against his stinging cheek. "Forgive me for that," she said. "But I have been in pain for a very long time. And it is only right that you feel it, too."

He swallowed. "Star…you have no idea." She couldn't see his eyes behind his mask, couldn't tell what emotion lay in them. "I hurt both of us."

She laid out the question that he'd struggled so long to answer. "Why?"

"I didn't want to lose you." Robin sighed. "But that sure blew up in my face, didn't it? I ended up being the reason you left."

"I left because I believed you did want me around," Starfire said softly. "Yet you would not have come here if that were true, yes?"

"Yeah. I mean, Star...I love you."

She moved forward until they were close enough to feel the heat from each other's bodies. Starfire reached up and delicately peeled his mask away, revealing his blue eyes, wet with unshed tears.

His veil had been lifted and for the first time, Starfire saw all of him, all the sides he'd struggled with for so long. Dick Grayson, the boy whose childhood had been brutally murdered, but bandaged by a caped crusader. Robin, the teenager she'd fallen in love with upon first sight, who gave up everything to protect the world. And Nightwing, the man who now stood before her, asking for another chance. The man at whose side she wanted to be by until the Great Ones called her home.

"I love you, too."

The taste of blood was in their kiss, and the hall was stunned into silence as their Princess, who had only moments before been engaged to Captain Tal, was swept into another man's arms, a dark-haired Earth hero who always seemed to be interrupting her marriage ceremonies. But there was something in the way they embraced that told a story of deep, abiding devotion that would survive anything.

Even the Grand Ruler who thundered towards them.

"Princess," he roared. "You would take back this alien creature who has stolen your innocence, broken your heart and now has the nerve to ask for your forgiveness on your wedding day to worthy man of your own people?"

Starfire's eyes glowed green. She lifted off the floor and hovered several feet in the air, putting herself at eye level with her former nanny. "I would!" she shot back, hotly. "And I shall fight any who threaten him!"

"And what of your betrothed?" Galfore asked. "Would you break your Skarlblatt vows to him?"

"Yes." She looked past Galfore's bulk at the man she'd nearly married. He'd been silent all this time, shocked, no doubt, by the sudden turn of events. "I am sorry, Captain Tal," Starfire said. "But you could not have been happy as my husband. Because I gave my heart away a long time ago." She looked back at Robin. "To a Human."

"Princess…" Galfore's voice rumbled dangerously, but Starfire held her ground. Finally, when it seemed like neither one of them would break, Galfore's face relaxed. "My greatest wish has been to see my littlest one happy. If he…" He glared at Robin. "…can make you happy, I will not enforce your vow to Captain Tal. However, if he ever again gives your heart a moment's worth of pain, I shall blast him into the stars."

Starfire threw her arms around the Grand Ruler's huge neck. "Thank you," she whispered. "For everything."

She flew to Robin's side. "I do love you, Robin. But I do not know if my heart could survive another break. Can you promise me that it will never have to?"

He lowered his head for a moment. "I'm going to try, Star." He looked back up at her. "I promise you that."

Starfire searched the blue depths of his eyes and found what she'd always wanted to see there. True love, unclouded by doubt or worry. "I wish to go home now," she told him.

Robin reached for her hand. "So do I."

* * *

To Be Continued 


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